Within the Demon's Grip: Part One

Chapter 18

"You've probably wondered why I act ... the way I do around you, or any other guy for that matter," Natalia began.

Robin nodded. "The thought has crossed my mind once or twice."

"Well, let's just say ... I learned to defend myself at a very young age. Of course ... it all became tricky once Caroline was born. It wasn't just about me, anymore. I had someone else to protect now, and sometimes that meant endangering myself for her safety."

Robin's expression became strained, like he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle. He didn't interrupt her, so she kept going.

"To be honest, I was more of a maternal figure to Caroline than my mom ever was. I tried not to blame her. After all, she was the one who provided for the family since my dad couldn't even hold down a damn job. The fucking alcoholic. Mom was just as scared of him as we were. If anything, she got the worst of it once the beer cans started emptying."

Natalia paused to look at her scar. When her voice reemerged it sounded breathy and weak. "I came out of my room one afternoon just as Caroline ran upstairs. She was hysterical. It was hard to understand what she was saying. Then I heard my dad's angry, uneven footsteps, and I knew that he was drunk again. We ended up hiding in the hallway closet.

"I tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't stop crying. He ended up finding us. Jerked open the door. Had one of my mom's big, butcher knives in his hand--"

"Oh, shit," Robin breathed.

"He said he was going to kill us. It was a threat he made a lot. His reasoning was always a bit foggy. This time worse than ever. He'd been going on these violent rampages. Last time he'd even shoved my mom down the stairs and broken her ankle. Of course, once the alcohol wore off, he was all hugs and apologies, making promises that he would break the next time he got drunk. Which was the next, fucking night. Surprise, surprise."

"What was he so angry about?" Robin asked.

Natalia sighed. "He was always accusing my mom of cheating on him. Had this completely delusional idea that he wasn't Caroline's real father." Natalia presented her hand to Robin. "Do you see the small scar around my thumb?" she asked.

Robin nodded.

"I got it when I blocked his first attack. He was aiming at Caroline. There was so much blood. Should have hurt like hell, only I didn't feel a thing...."

"Shit," Robin breathed. Natalia could almost see the color draining from his face.

Natalia felt more tears on her cheeks. She sniffed back wetly. "I mean ... I remember the screams and tears more than the actual pain. It was chaotic. Like a nightmare. He just kept coming at us. His face-- this mask of fury. Screaming obscenities ... as he slashed and slashed and slashed! He just kept going until Caroline was lying on the floor, until blood was pooling beneath her body." Natalia paused to draw in a breath. "She was only 11 years old, and he killed her! He fucking killed her!"

A teardrop hit her scar, and Natalia blinked, drawing in a ragged breath. "I couldn't save her," she whispered, and somehow hearing the words aloud made the tears come harder. Her lips stretched over her teeth in an agonized grin. "Caroline," she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry."

Robin didn't move to comfort Natalia. He only sat there, his eyes burning holes into the floor. He shook his head, and Natalia waited for him to speak, but he didn't. He just kept shaking his head as if he found her story too hard to believe.

The shock of blood had been enough to yank Natalia's father from his drunken rage, but it had happened much too late. She could recall in perfect detail, her father crumbling to his knees, taking Caroline into a rocking embrace; sobbing hysterically. Natalia had wanted, more than anything, to take that knife and jam it into his fucking throat ... but she hadn't. Instead, Natalia had crawled into the deepest, darkest recess of her mind and resided there.