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Fuck I am an absolute mess
I mean can you believe it I almost just got a hard on in front of my best friend. I feel gross she's like a sister to me. And it's not like I haven't seen her like that multiple times before and it usually doesn't phase me.
Maybe I am overreacting, it's just hormones right?
I quickly jumped out of my car to enter my girlfriend's apartment complex. Did I mention I have a girlfriend? Yes I do.
I met Morana when I had my very first big break ever. I was taking photos for a Victoria Secret Shoot and I saw her there. I thought she was an angel, the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my whole entire life. I was so nervous to ask her out, and was so shocked when she agreed. That was a year ago, before she changed.
She started working more to the point where I only got to see her once a week. She barely calls or texts me anymore, but I know that it's because she's been working so hard and I love her for it. That is why I am going to surprise her right now. She texted me and told me that she's super busy right now and that I shouldn't come over because I will distract her. But I know what overworking does to people and I want to make her feel better. So I brought her favorite salad. I know, I know a salad is not ideally what you bring to your girlfriend when she needs comfort, but the last time I brought her a small chocolate cake and some cute heart shaped cookies she told me, "You know those will make me fat, do you want me to be fat and ugly?" and then she grabbed them out of my hand and threw them in the trash. That made me sad. I was just trying to do something nice for her. So, to make sure that doesn't happen I am going to get her something she likes which is a green salad with red onions, spinach, a very small amount of dressing, blue cheese, tomatoes and cucumbers. I had to get that memorized.
I get in the elevator that leads up to her floor. I am so excited to see her. I feel like it's been forever.
I knock on her door but there's no answer. So instead I just grab the spare key that I have and open the door. As I enter I am greeted by her very white big flat. By white I mean literally everything is white. White couch, white walls white floors, and her all white kitchen. The only colors in the whole apartment are her very large model photos on the walls. They are literally everywhere. There's no pictures of her family, friends, or even me. Just her. I mean it's very different from me and Derya's apartment. Ours is very cozy and colorful. With pictures all over the wall of us, friends, and family. As I am looking around I can't find her. Her room door is shut and I assume that she's in there. While walking closer to the closed door is when I hear it.
I hear her moans mixed with a guys' moans and that guy is definitely not me when I am standing right out here.
I can't control myself when I burst through the door. And I see my girlfriend riding a guy that I can't even see the face of. She is quick to turn around and lets out a small scream. When she moves off him and comes towards me is when I see his face.
Nate.
Oh I am about to beat the absolute shit out of this guy.
Nate jumps out of the bed and pulls his underwear back on. "Harry hey man-"
He's cut off when I launch towards him and throw punches at him multiple times which causes him to fall to the ground. I can hear Morannas cries pleading for me to stop. But I don't.
" You *punch* fucking *punch* piece *punch* of *punch* shit you fuck my girlfriend and cheat on my best friend. I am gonna beat the living shit out of you". His face is bloody and looks really messed up but I don't stop . I won't be surprised if he's in the hospital for a few days.
"HARRY STOP IT" Morona shouts
That's when I finally stopped. I get up and walk towards her.
"I hate you. What have you done to me? Why did you do this to me? I loved you Morona. Was I not enough I really tried to be, You never- fuck." That's when I started crying.
I cry for believing another could love me
I cry because I am never enough
I cry because Derya is gonna be heart broken.
"Harry to be honest you were never what I needed and it was great in the beginning but I just got bored you're soft and we are just not the same, me and you, but I still love you Harry. We can make this work".
"Don't fucking tell me that you love me when you obviously do not. You don't do shit like that to people you love."
I can't stay here anymore. I have to leave before I have an absolute breakdown.
As I am walking towards the door Morona stops me by saying, "where are you going now Harry. Don't fucking leave me, you can't leave me"
"I am leaving you, and when I do I don't wanna see you ever again"
"And you" I walk towards where Nate is lying on the floor. I am not sure if he is passed out or not but I squat down to where he is laying on the floor "If you ever come anywhere near Derya again I will kill you" giving him a pat on his cheek which causes him to grunt and I say "for real this time"
I make my way out of the room and exit the apartment.
