If You're Reading This (Kingsman One-Shot)

It had been many years since Harry Hart had to clean out his desk drawers, the only time ever being when it groaned with memories he had long since forgotten, but, being that he had retired many months ago now and had already known the house wasn't officially his, he had to clear out everything since he was moving out of the wretched place. God knows what could end up in the archives at HQ at this rate if he had just up and left without his whatnots and curiosities.

Having being a clean person, in everything but his drawers and other affairs he wasn't subjected to now despite only going fully gray a while ago, it came almost as a surprise when he found an upside down picture frame tucked neatly away, an unassuming and what looked like, unopened old and yellowing letter tucked in the frame at the back. Pinching his glasses, he couldn't recognise it. Shaking his head however, he left it on top of his desk to look over later. He had to finish the rest of his packing.

It was nightfall by the time he had completed his work, cracking his back loudly as he surveyed the boxes littering the now much smaller looking space. When he spotted the forgotten frame out of the corner of his eye however, curiosity sparked him again. Picking it up, setting into his seat and sliding the letter out of the frame somehow made the words 'bad idea!' flash though his mind, but nevertheless, unfolded the stale edges of the envelope and took the rough, scribbled on letter out, unfolding it only to have his throat dry up immediately.'

Dear Harry, my love and light,

If you're reading this, my Mama's sitting there

Looks like I only got a one way ticket over here

Jesus Harry, love, what have I fucking done? This was worse than I thought it was going to be, ha ha, I bet you'd be laughing though the guy at the door giving you and my Mam this has spooked you bad. You know, I know. Well, it seems we can't all be Kingsman, right?

Sure wish I could give you one more kiss

And war was just a game we played when we were kids

You know, I think about you an awful lot here, buried in an tench with body odor either side of me. It might suck here, but at least I was trying to make an effort. I hope you got all my letters, you should keep them for Daisy as she's too young to really understand or remember me anyway. I swear everyone hated me taking up our troop's typewriter or worse, stealing the ink. But, anything for you, bruv, that's the way it goes.

I'm laying down my gun, I'm hanging up boots

I'm up here with God and we're both watching over you

So, here's the situation. I don't really care how it happened. It's boring. Same thing as always for every one of us who dies out here. 'He was a brave man, he did this, he did that. He served his country well and he will be missed.' God, I hope he never said that to you, the bastard the delivered this. I was never that well at fighting as you know.

So lay me down n that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go

And if you're reading this, I'm already home

I'll be home soon anyway, although at this point it's safe to say I'll be in a coffin with her Majesty's flag draped over it. Same sendoff for everyone probably, just like the whole, knocking on the door thing.I feel bad for those guys. I've seen a lot of them die out here Harry, more death than I've even seen before and...it's really hit me hard.

If you're reading this, halfway around the world

I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl

Anyway, enough about me and death. I want you just to do something for me.I want you to protect Daisy since I'm not here to anymore. Tell her stories about me, good and bad if you must and please, just let her know she was loved. She was my everything other than you and Mam. She won't understand the her brother is gone and not going to be there anymore.

I hope she looks like you, I hope she fights like me

Stands up for the innocent and weak

I know, given her stubbornness already, she'll be a good person (maybe even an Kingsman? *wink, wink*), but she'll need help. After all, if her Dad was trouble, she might get in trouble too and I don't want her to ever experience what I had to go though. I know you don't want that for her either.

I'm laying down my gun, I'm hanging up boots

Tell Dad I don't regret that I followed in his shoes

You know, Harry, I never really understand why my Dad fought for you and Kingsman and all that, but now, I do. Being out here has shown me what you fight for. You fight for everyone and, being loyal to everyone, leave no fallen man behind. You showed me that Harry, I loved you for it too.

So lay me down in that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go

And if you're reading this, I'm already home

Can you ask Mam if it's okay for me to be buried next to Dad? I mean, I don't know where you actually bury fallen Kingsman really, but...I'd just like to be with him you know? I missed him and now I get to see him again and I'm going to miss Mam and Daisy too. But...you, Harry, oh god, I'm going to miss you terribly.

If you're reading this, there's going to come a day

When you'll move on and find someone else and that's OK

Just remember this, I'm in a better place

Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace

I mean, I've be watching you, yeah, but it won't be the same. I'll be in tears every day probably, just like you. I wanted to grow old with you Harry. Can you imagine it now? How it would have been? Two smoking idiots on a hill with little children running around thanks to Daisy. We would have been blessed, Harry, I'm sure of that. Maybe that'll happen to you, with Merlin even, could happen knowing the old days.

So lay me down in that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go

And if you're reading this, I'm already home...

Harry was in tears at this point, composure long gone as the memories of that knock on the door and seeing the man in uniform on the step, whiskey bottle in his hand plummeting to the floor as he was told, the soldier with letters in hand for all the soldiers killed in battle that lived in this part of England. There were 40 men that were injured that day. Almost half of them died. He was one of them.

His shaky hands let go of the letter to cover his face as he cried, frame slipping off his lap a landing upside on the carpet. It was an very old and worn black and white photo of an young man, a headshot of him obviously dressed in uniform and smiling at the camera.The last lines read:

'Well, I guess I'd better leave you be, love. God knows what drama you're dealing with right now. I promise you, I'll see you again. Remember that yeah? Always remember that for me.

I love you, so much.

Goodnight love,

Eggsy