I bit my lip as I held back my tears. This was wrong, he didn't have to hurt me this way. Why stay if he doesn't care either way? He looked up from his phone to my face and passed me a small smile making me feel more tormented. I wanted to scream at him, curse him and cry out to him but I held back. Is this what a toxic relationship is? Am I just ruining my own life? I could walk out at this instant telling him to rot in hell but I needed closure, I needed him to tell me that he wants to leave. He didn't cheat, nor did he fall for someone else, so I had no enough reason to leave. If he fell out of love he must tell me on his own or I wouldn't leave. Maybe this was toxic.
I stood up from the dining in fury. "Is everything alright darling?", he questioned but I couldn't see the worry in his words, maybe because there was none. "Yes I'm just tired. I'm going to bed.", I whispered forcing myself not to break down. "I'm coming with you then", he smiled wrapping his arm around my waist. I wished to tell him how much I hated it and that I couldn't get myself to share a bed with him, but wouldn't they all be lies in the end? Nodding, I half-heartedly walked towards the staircase, slightly escaping his embrace. He didn't seem to bother and I could physically hear my heart shattering. Climbing the stairs I couldn't help but let one tear roll down my cheek but did a splendid job to cover it without his knowledge.
Walking to the room I swiftly turned towards the bathroom only to be stopped by a hand on my upper arm. "Did I do something?", he questioned with furrowed eyebrows. I had no idea if I was to respond with a yes or a no. 'Yes you broke my heart', I could say but also 'no you did absolutely nothing to save us. You didn't care, you didn't bother.' Unable to answer I simply stared into his eyes with my own glossy ones. "You know you can tell me anything right darling?" His words brought bile up my throat. How was I supposed to tell him that he didn't care without having to hear his petty excuses again, without him spewing lies making me feel small, without him explaining his plight not apologizing once only to do it all over again? "Nothing's wrong", I choked out before my tears came rushing down. "Everything's perfectly fine. Everything's alright as long as I love you."
A/N: Sob stories
