Argument in registration
Written by Joe Staton and Michael Hopkinson
Registration room in an english secondary school. A lone woman sits, continuously complaing about her life. Enter Joe and Mike who sit and listen to her for about 5 minutes.
Joe: Your wise words of "life's a bitch"
Occur when listening to this witch
Mike: Lmao so true my friend
Yet on perspective does that depend
For a witch to you she may be now
But in past of days down to her, you did bow
Joe: You should know of trouble and strife
You've bowed down to her your entire life!
Mike: Bullshit, once, twice and a third time I declare
That beastly creature? Never did I enter her lair
Joe: My friend, your an expert on her lair
You've entered as frequent as she's dyed her hair!
Mike: Well your a whore
And a bore
Joe: Good sir, I laugh at your feeble try
But all around us know you lie
Mike: Asshole, laugh at me you may
And yet, at the end of the day
Emotions of your face display
A temperament of imminent defeat
Joe: You twat! That verse didn't rhyme!
Are you trying to waste my time?
I hope you realize my my mind is set
And I'm going to post this on the internet
Mike: Then on the internet shall our battle lie
Where swords ablaze under a fiery crimson sky
And at the end of the day shall your retaliation cease
At my feet tears shed whilst you weep
Joe: Don't be offended by this, you trout!
But what on earth are you talking about?
Mike: Your lack of comprehension surprises me little
Why hath you the intellectual capacity of a man mentally crippled?
Joe: Coming from the man who took pleasure and joy
On being known as the legendary "pigeon boy"
But sir, let us fight no more
For it is becoming a frightful bore
Just one thing that every one knows:
I hope your body is feasted by crows!
But let us move to happier matters
Now that your manhood lies in tatters
Mike: If personal offense is what you desire
Then upon your social status I shall enquire
For is the truth not that you smell of mountain beast?
And an outcast you remain from the town of Ubelubayeast?
Joe: My friend do not be offended
Arguments are why we both befriended
That is as obvious as the light of day
But I do wonder sometimes if you are gay
And my friend, there is nothing wrong with that
Forgive me if I am acting like a twat
I must say this is enormous fun
But when the bell rings we must be done
Mike: Is it not true that kiddy fiddle do you in the day?
And in the night too upon younglings you prey
Regardless of age, race, colour or gender
Often do they charge you as a sexual offender
Joe: Your words do travel many miles
But why are you so interested in pedophiles?
One suggestion, I must propose it
Good sir, you must come out of the close-it!
Mike: Well an ensightful encounter hath we here
Yet soon the bell shall ring I fear
And so goodbye to you, I must declare
Joseph my friend and your newly cropped hair
Joe: Aye, to history we must go
You have been a worthy foe
I admire your ability to fend
And so goodbye, my good gay friend
Mike: Twat in a cup
Joe: Whining pup
Mike: Bitch, whore swine. Divine.
Joe: Ah that's a good final line!
