Surrounded by Doubt | Kuroshitsuji

Chapter 5 - Growing doubt

Ciel remembered making it to the desk despite feeling vastly fatigued before darkness had taken over his vision and led him into oblivion. When he awoke, or at least he thought he had woken up, darkness was still surrounding him yet a comforting kind of warmth was embracing him, Ciel felt safe, oddly enough he was sure he'd felt this warmth before but could not pinpoint from where.

It wasn't until a few rays of light made its way through the blackness that he could make out the contours of a neat raven butler carrying him. His sight still blurry and eyes having a hard time opening up, Ciel struggled to grasp what was happening. Sebastian was carrying him? What was going on? Why did Sebastian's face look like that?

Ciel managed to widen his eyes just enough to make out that Sebastian was deep in thought. What was he thinking about? The butler's face didn't show much but it was obvious from the slight twitches in his features that something was bothering him.

Ciel disliked it when the butler was bothered over something without him knowing the reason, not that he worried about Sebastian or anything, but it was usually something serious if it troubled the demon and Ciel needed to know of such a thing to properly control his pawns. It was especially important to know what the demon was thinking as this was his most unpredictable pawn and not knowing the moves of this particular one could end up with him losing more than the game he was playing.

His own next move had been fairly unpredictable even to himself as he started feeling nauseous and unexpectedly raised his hand towards holding a tight grip on Sebastian's coat, unwilling to let go, he even managed to mumble out the butler's name while closing his eyes again. He was so tired, it had been hard just holding on to Sebastian and the nausea wasn't helping.

Suddenly the embracing warmth around him was disappearing, his hand was too weak to continue holding on and he slowly let go of the piece of clothing he had so desperately held on to as the comfortable feeling of security was putting him down on the bed.

Ciel shivered at the touch of cold sheets meeting his skin where it was bare, not even his clothes managed to hold the chilly feeling away and so another shiver made its way through his body. All of a sudden he felt someone removing his clothes only to put on a newly washed outfit more appropriate for bed on him. Sebastian even picked him up for a moment just to get his small body under the covers before beginning to walk toward the door but before the butler could leave the room Ciel called out for him.

Ciel really didn't want to be alone right now. He was feeling dizzy, tired and on top of that his body was essentially boiling. The boy watched with half open eyes as the butler made his way over to him, to his surprise Ciel was certain he caught the butler showing a subtle smile after turning his body towards the bed but it quickly disappeared as they made eye contact. Was Sebastian taunting him?

He started to wonder if Sebastian was enjoying the view of him sick. Was it amusing for the predator to watch his prey so weak.. so defenceless.. So.. easy to kill? He wouldn't be able to do anything would the demon go rogue and claim his meal before dinnertime. In fact, would he be able to do anything even if he wasn't sick?

All these thoughts were starting to really dig into Ciel and an uneasy feeling was overcoming him, it's not like he was afraid of the demon, he had been aware of Sebastian's nature and the relationship between them forged by contract from the very beginning yet all of a sudden he was getting uncomfortable having the butler near him while being ill.

"Stop" Ciel came back to reality just before the demon had gotten too close to the bed he told him to stop. Why Didn't he want Sebastian to come closer? He felt that uncomfortable feeling of uneasiness again before proceeding. "I would.. Um.. like some water.. If you don't mind"

Ciel broke eye contact with the crimson and was now looking down at the white sheets on his bed. If you don't mind!? Why did he say that? Sebastian was his butler, it didn't matter if he minded or not, Sebastian had to obey him regardless of what he requested. How come he had been so polite all of a sudden? Especially since he only requested water. Was the demon's presence too much for him to even keep a clear mind?

He looked up again only to see a slightly confused butler staring at him, Sebastian seemed to have noticed Ciel asking so nicely since a not so subtle smile grew on his face. Seeing him like that made Ciel more angry than anything else, he regretted not carefully choosing his words before blurting them out.

"What? Do you find something amusing?" He snapped, the delighted face on his butler returned to it's natural expression before he placed one hand over where his heart was and bowed down.

"Of course not, young master, I will make sure to fetch your water quickly among some other items that could help with your fever" The butler said with a silky smooth voice. Ciel watched him leaving the room as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd held in, he felt a wave of relief now that the butler was gone. Though this could not go on, he could not go on feeling this uncomfortable around the butler. Sebastian was sure to notice something even if Ciel were to put up a charade. Something needed to be done about this.