Dead Or Alive?

02

"Maddie!" A little shrill voice wakes me...its Caitlin she's charlottes child, my step sister. Mum and dad got divorced when I was a real girl when they couldn't cope that their only daughter was harming her self and was ill. They sent me to a crazy house at 16, they tried to force feed me and when I refused multiple time they put me on a drip with sugar water infusing my blood with sugar to fatten me up make me bloated. I looked horrendous coming out of there but I tried to be okay for a month but I fell back into old habits and when I hit the bottom there was no pain.... just pride
Caitlin leaves as Charlotte calls her from down stairs to have break fast.
I swing my legs out of bed and let them dangle from the edge. I don't have to go to school today or tomorrow or the day after they don't help me the teachers stare me up and down... It's because you're fat. They think I don't pay attention or I'm ' to ill ' to concentrate however I'm perfectly fine in school I'm smart. "Maddie! Come and get breakfast you'll be late to school" Charlotte shouts from the kitchen.
I put some washed out blue jeans on with a sweater, brushed out my pin straight caramel brown hair and added a small amount of mascara.

In the kitchen Caitlin is stuffing her face with waffles and Nutella (109) Charlotte offered me some but I can't eat I'm to fat but I'm so hungry I could eat 2 of those waffles and a full glass of fresh orange juice the sweet taste I cant remeber it's better than the empty feeling inside me.

Don't fall into their vicious plan to fatten you up your already too big.

I have to eat in front of Charlotte or she won't let me leave the house, she writes down every week what I weigh for Dr O'Connel ( mom) she works at the mental home she's a therapist. She over thinks everything especially my well being she thinks I can't look after myself but this is what I want.

The smell is making me feel sick thinking about eating makes me feel sick but I sit down and grab a waffle off a plate in the middle (44) and some syrup (54) and cut the waffle into small chunks. Charlotte is running round the house getting Caitlin's stuff ready whilst asking maths questions when I see Caitlin struggle with a question I put what it is on my fingers whilst Charlotte is not looking. "Maddie your keys are here they were in between the cushions on the couch and now Caitlin get up and get your shoes and don't take too long or we'll be late also Maddie you should be going soon we will measure you tonight once your in" Charlotte lists, Caitlin gets out the chair and goes to find her shoes by now I'm on the 4th bit of my waffle and it's killing me to eat this much.
" what classes do you have to do today maddie?" Charlotte queries
" I don't go in until 11 then I have history science and French "
"Please go to all of them" Charlotte pleads knowing I'll get into school go to one class and say I feel ill because everyone will be asking the same questions.

"I will" and with that Charlotte and caitlin are out the door. I wait until I hear the car go, stand and take my plate to the bin and dispose of it.