Caged

14 - Empty

For the rest of my life, I believe, I will be trying not to be, act, or do anything awkward around Dalton Rivers. Something feels different. This wonderful thing has happened, something girls in Ecritica would possibly fight me for, and yet everything feels ruined.

And I can't look Atlas in the eye.

I felt a physical shift in my thoughts when I did look at him, Atlas. Every time I take a glance, memories of candles burning and lots and lots of fire attack my mind. And although we haven't really spoken in a long time, I feel like I understand him better. But I have no idea how that's possible.

We're all sitting at breakfast and no one is talking. Everything feels off. I scan the room to find the others also scanning, taking in the scene, who's left, who didn't make it. I think about how the Advisors are not telling us what Phase we're in anymore. It makes me cringe that I can't remember. How can I not remember?

Easy, it feels like years since we started this. I have a hard time recollecting images of my even family.

"Dalton, you should really eat something," Elena says out of the blue. He looks at her questioningly, eyes narrowed.

Her usual poise goes slack. "I mean, don't you have problems with that? Like, not eating? You told me that, right?"

"I never told you that," Dalton says hesitantly, sitting back in his chair. He picks up his fork and theatrically stabs a piece of pineapple, making Elena smile weakly.

Elena's interjection tipped the ambience slanted, even more so than before.

Suddenly, Elena's utensils crash onto her plate as she drops them, startling me out of a daze. Her chair being pushed on the floor makes a horrible screeching noise, and she doesn't even flinch.

"Well, this has been lovely," Elena says. "I'm going to go, uh, get ready."

"The Advisors don't have anything planned until this afternoon." Dalton twirls the fork between his fingers. He bats his eyelashes. "You probably don't need to be primping for an entire four hours."

"Hey!" Damara exclaims, and by the look on her face, even startles herself. Her next words are a lot quieter. "Let her get primped for however long she wants."

Elena furrows her brow. "Uh, thank you, Damara?"

I push myself to a stand. "I'm going to go too," I say quickly, scurrying to catch up with Elena.

Elena pushes the door open button for me on the elevator. She's in a hurry, and I wonder what for.

She examines herself in the golden reflection of the elevator walls, picking at her teeth, combing through her hair with her talon nails. She's the kind of pretty that would immediately turn me off from wanting to know her if I met her in Ecritica. And I guess now that I do know her, I realize how unfair that is to her, and girls who look like her. How stereotypical of me to assume that someone who spends four hours primping themselves does not have the capacity to understand someone like me. When she's the one who's done all the talking, all the trying to understand, and I've just been on the receiving end of free friendship.

She looks preoccupied, and I know there's more to it than wanting to fix her hair.

"Is everything okay?" I finally say, and it makes her jump back.

"Goodness gracious, Velvet, you scared me," she says, resting her hand delicately on her chest.

"I——I'm sorry? Are you okay?"

Elena clenches her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut. It looks like she's trying to keep words from leaving her mouth, barricading them in with her teeth.