What Really Happens

[1] Pain

Pain. Red-hot pain was all that she felt as her body hit the wall with a sickening thud. She was used to this. It happened regularly, and she could deal with pain without any problem. The person who had flung her against the wall punched her, on the side of the jaw, leaving a large mark. Not to worry. She could cover that up with makeup, as her mother would surely make her do. She hoped that today it would only be violence. Pain, she could deal with. It was only physical. The comments made by her heartless mother? She could deal with those too. She didn't even flinch when the attacker kneed her in the ribs. Or when her mother entered the room and started yelling obscenities at her. That was fine. But what she absolutely dreaded was the violation. When she had no way to block it out. She was lucky that today it was only violence, and only pain.

From a young age, Elliana Walmsley had been a culprit to her brother's physical abuse and her mother's mental abuse. The comments started at the age of three. The insults her mother flung at her had only gotten worse over time, yet her resistance had gotten better. Nothing phased her anymore - which was both a curse and blessing. The violence started when she was four. Her mother refrained from hitting her, as violence was unladylike, but she did nothing to stop her brother. Only nine years old at the time, he wouldn't hesitate to hit her and abuse her - causing pain. At first, Elliana had dreaded it, begged for it not to happen, and had even felt the pain. But after thirteen years of suffering, she simply didn't feel it anymore. She considered the years up to twelve years old good - because there were no violations. The violations started when she was twelve, and she knew enough by then to know that they were wrong. Worse than the violence, worse than the pain, worse than the yelling. But now, she just tried her best to block it out and not think about it afterwards.

It wasn't only her mother and brother whom ruined her. Her father, not knowing the situation, was not present in her life. He didn't live with them, which made it all too easy for her mother to control her life. Of course, the pain she had received from one Miss Abby Lee might not have been physical, but it was enough to destroy a nine year old's confidence and opinion of self-worth. Not to mention the 'having to starve yourself because if you weighed a lot you weren't allowed to dance', a rule enforced both by Abby and her own mother.

What really surprised her was the fact that no one realised. Somehow, everyone had managed to keep it hidden from the public, and the few times where Elliana had tried to give some type of hint to what was happening, the pain would just be worse. As a consequence of her mother and brother, she had no friends. She kept in contact with no one (no matter how much she wanted to) and was not part of any group. The only reason she had a YouTube channel was just another way of income for her mother. She was not allowed to go to school, so when she reached the age of eighteen, she would have to stay with her monster of a mother and her terrible brother.

Yet somehow, she still had a little bit of hope left, that when she became of age, she would somehow be able to escape. Hope was a foreign concept to Elliana. She had lost it after she had been constantly critised for her dancing, and almost everything else about her. The world was a cruel place, and especially so if the people around you were even more cruel. All that Elliana had ever wanted as a child was happiness, and now, at the age of seventeen, she was far to cynical and messed up to ever believe that was possible.

Elliana suffered from depression. Of course, she had never been properly diagnosed with depression, as her mother had never cared about her mental health, but from the research she had done online (where most of it was incorrect anyways) it was safe to say that she did indeed have depression. Then again, with how her life is, it's not that surprising.

Her mother forced her to wear inappropriate clothes just for fans to see, which means more profit for Elliana, which means, of course, more profit for her mother. Elliana was disgusted at the way her mother acted, but had long since stopped trying to justify her actions. Somehow, despite her horrid upbringing, Elliana had still become a nice and considerate person. She was smart but found no shame in making mistakes (a great strength) yet she was incredibly mature for her age due to the horrors she had had to face. She does not like life as an influencer due to the fact that everything she does is controlled by her mother, and she has no choice or say in what happens to her.

Going to the authorities is out of the question, as no one would take her word over both her mother and her brother's, as she had no proof whatsoever. Many people would not have been able to survive this long, but there was something keeping Elliana tied to this world that even she herself could not figure out. Life had no chance of getting better, yet some small smidgen of hope still remained in her that maybe, just maybe, she might be able to one day escape.

As she was lying in bed that evening, her ribs potentially broken, her back aching, her face bruised and bloodied and her entire being in pain, she wondered why, of all people in the world, this had happened to her. Why would the universe think that she was strong enough to handle this life when others weren't?

Yes, Elliana Walmsley was no stranger to pain.