You made me this way

All the things she said

I can try to pretend. I can try to forgive, but I dont think I can forget all the things she said. They run through my head like nightmares even when the brightest time of day is around.

I held the glass plate over my head. I wated to shatter the plate like they sattered my heart. I was done. Everything my mother said got to me. As I held the plate she starred at me like I was crazy. I will admit in that moment I was overjoyed with a feelinf of freedom. Maybe if I made them afraid of me, and acted like I lost my mind I would be free. Tears welled in my eyes as I used all the anger for strength and sattered the plate.

Finally, I was in control. I had their attention or so I thought. Next thing I know the world went black; my ears rung and my head stung. The painful buzzing sound of my alarm clock shook the room. Lazily reaching for it I turned it off and forced myself out of bed.

Great another day of living. As I humbled myself before I even reached the door I could hear the dreadful screaming in the kitchen. I didn't want to even bother going down there so I hoped out my bedroom window with my bag for school. You know I'm really thankful I don't live in one of those fancy two story houses. Jumping out the window to quickly escape my problems wouldn't be as easy.

I won't lie my life was perfect at one point, but then one night. Everything changed and I still don't know why. I used to adore my family, but now I dread going home. Maybe back then I was to young to realize that the people we love the most can hurt you the worse. Before I knew it and was even ready for school I was at the main entrence. Sighing I took the first steps and inside and felt like all eyes were already all over my body. Then it struck me... I forgot my hoodie. Everyone. And I mean everyone could see the secrets on my skin. Those dark violet marks littered my pale skin. My eyes welled and I ran to the nearest janitor closet. Swinging the door open as fast as I could I lowered myself harshly against the wall facing the door. My head in my knees quitely sobbing. Away from everyone I felt at peace. However that peace was soon broken.

The door swung open letting in a bright flash, and then quickly slamming shut. Of course. As if this day couldn't get worse He out of all people had to be here. "What trouble did you cause this time Jaxson?"

"Ugh its you. Out of all people I had to choose the cloest you would be in. Of course I just have to be stuck with you Marilynne."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, " Trust me I feel the same." Next thing I know he grabbed my arms and tried forcing me out the door. Without realizing I whinced and yelled, "Stop grabbing me idiot that hurt." He starred blankly at my face before looking at my arms looking at the violet spots.

"I'm sorry I didn't know May."

"Of course you wouldn't your the person everyone loves. You chose popularity over me. The one person who cared for you but guess what now everyone cares about you and now I hate you." I went to leave but this time he grabbed me by my shoulder, and turned me around to face him.

"Wait before you go. Take this," he said lifiting off his hoodie and placing it gently in my arms. Without even looking at my face he knew I was shooting him a confused look and said," I'm sorry. I know those words will mean nothing to you, but I'll try to protect you and show you that I deserve to be liked by you again no matter how much that takes." The next thing I know he left, and the first bell rang. Shit. I'm gonna be late.

Barely making it to class on time I quickly slipped his hoodie over my body and stepped into class. Hushed whispers started as I made my way to my seat; tears welled in my eyes as I found my way to my seat. Sitting down I looked out the window. Can this day just be over. Everyone is judging me and rumors are going to spread on what they saw. No thanks to Kyla. She's the reason I lost Jaxson origanlly and even after loosing him she didn't stop with the tourture. I hated her, but also wished I was her. God why was life so unfair?  Not a moment after my thoughts were forced out of my head as my teacher was snapping in my face.

"Marilynne, you can either pay attention in my class or go to the office."

"Sorry ma'am," was all I managed to mumble out.

As she walked away I heard her murmmer," You used to be such a good kid," while shaking her head.

Kyla must have heard what she said and started laughing, "She's probably like that miss because her parents don't love her." Her words were true but they still stung. All the heads in class turned and my vision went blurry as I "saw" everyone laugh. Gripping onto Jaxsons hoodie I looked down at my notebook and picked up my pencil barely holding onto it. Tears stained the pages but I just wrote down the lecture, and rushed out of class as soon as the bell rang. I hate her. Her flawless skin, pale complection, her beautiful blue eyes, and ash hair. All her friends are so cool. An amazing boyfriend. She really did have the perfect life. I wish I was her. Jealously rushed through my veins. After reaching the bathroom I locked the door and stood infront of the mirror. Gazzing at myself and starting to cry. I hated my black hair, and even though I had blue eyes mine were dull compared to her bright blue. Unlike her olive skin I was pale. My face was covered by my glasses that I took off my face and shoved in my bag. Once again I slide my back fown the wall and for the rest of that day I stayed in the bathroom and sobbed as all the things she said manipulated my thoughts.