~Bakudeku OneShots~

Suicidal deku pt2

⚠️ TW This chapter contains mentions of rape, suicide, Self harm, and more if you are sensitive to these topics please skip and don't read⚠️

~Back at the party~

When I walked out of that room instant guilt filled my body, I finally sobered up and realized what I did, I...I raped him, why did I do that

I didn't mean it, I was just drunk and aggravated about the rumors and I wasn't thinking straight (no pun intended) 

And then I saw him, eyeliner running down his face, panicked and hurt, he was speed walking out of the house, jacket and shoes in his hand, his friend tried stopping him but he hardly pushed her away, I don't blame him after what I did...

I need to go after him and apologize for everything, I start walking after him
"Hey bakubro come over here and look at this"

"Kiri nows not the time"

"Aww come on man it'll be quick" before I could even object he pulled be near the back where kaminari was doing a keg stand

I slipped away without them noticing and ran out of the house grabbing the car keys on the way, He has to be close right?

I then spent the next 30 minutes checking places deku could've gone but no luck, that's when it clicked, "The old ruff top!" I then stepped on the gas going as fast as I could

Me and deku always went there when we were kids and then we fell apart, I still went there from time to time, but I stopped when I realized deku still went as well,

When I got there I sprinted up the many stairs and when I finally reached the top I was so shocked I couldn't move,

I saw deku falling backward off the building with a smile on his face I ran to the edge but I was too late and I screamed out a painful scream as I watched his body fall and go limp, he started to bleed oh God it was terrible

I called 911 telling them what happened, I'm surprised they even understood me from how bad I was sobbing

After they hung up the sky dimmed and it started to rain, the sunset was peeking through the dark gray clouds while the whales of sirens and loud sobs filled the air

The air felt so thin, it was hard to breathe oh so very hard "DAMNIT KATSUKI!" I screamed out at myself while hitting the cold hard concrete below me, it was my fault, it was all my fault I killed the love of my life

After I calmed down a bit I was about to get up when I noticed an opened box, it was filled with papers, all signed with someone's name on it, I went through them, Mom, Iida, Uraraka, Kaminari, Stuyu, Todoroki, Katsuki, There's one for me?

I opened it and started to read

Dear katsuki, if you're reading this I'm guessing you already know that I've ended it, shocking right? The bright bubbly boy that's always happy killed himself? The truth is that I haven't ever really been happy now that I think of it, maybe when I was a toddler, but that's not the point the point is that even though I always seemed happy and cheerful I wasn't, I was quite depressed actually, always putting on a smile for everyone, I always thought of my self in a bad way, I hated because I was weak and always cried over the smallest of things, I hated that I was gay and liked someone I probably shouldn't have, I hated the way I looked and how fat I was, I always messed shit up and made things worse, but who cares, I've learned not to, anyway there's something I always wanted to tell you but I could never bring myself to do it knowing how you would react, so I shorta am in love with you and I know it's stupid because of the way you treat me but I can't help it, I always have ever since we were kids, I wish I could go back and change what went wrong when you started to hate me, I don't know why you hated me, well that's a lie you would always tell me why and it hurt, if I'm being honest I will never forget it but I pushed all of that behind me because I loved you and I always had hope that maybe one day you would feel the same way I felt, but that's stupid you could never like someone like me, um so I don't really know what else to say except I'm sorry, I know you won't care that I'm gone but still it feels right to say, so that's it, that's the end of my journey I wish you the best and hope you find someone that makes you happy the way I wanted to sorry I'm getting off track again but um this is goodbye I love you kachan<3