What Sabrina Wants

1

I never imagined that my life would turn out this way. After so many years of holding onto the life that I shared with my husband, I'm finally ready for a commitment. But I've never been good at dating women. I always do the wrong things. Or become somewhat of a bitch to them. It's a flaw that I'm aware of all too well.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Can't I stop by to see my son?"

Jack smiles and shakes his head. "I'll take you to lunch. But there's a few calls I have to make. Mind waiting on me?"

"Sure." I leave his office and walk slowly along the corridor, admiring the plaques that lined the walls, even the picture of my sleazy husband.

"Sabrina? I thought that was you." At the sound of the voice, I turn and see a familiar office weirdo. He sometimes reminds me of my dead husband. And that alone creeps me out.

"Hey, Mark. How have you been? How are the kids?"

He grins at me and walks closer. "Kids are doing great. And I'll do better if you let me take you out one night."

I lower my head and contemplate how to reject him. "It's still hard with Freddie gone."

He nods. "I see. Good man, that one. I understand. But if you ever change your mind," he raises his brows in anticipation.

"I'll make sure to give you a call."

"It's been seven years, Sabrina. Gotta move on sometime." I smile weakly at him. I've moved on but not towards you.

My attraction to men has gradually faded over the years. Maybe I want something different and new. Or maybe I only like men because it's all I really know. It's easier to get men to like me rather than women. It has always been that way.

"Mom, you ready?" Jack walks towards me. I look at him carefully, seeing traits of his father. But it's comforting to see the man I spent most of my life with in the one person I loved in the world. Jack inherited some of the better parts of his father—the parts I'd rather remember.

"Yeah. Where are you taking me?"

"Belif. You like it there, right?" He links his arm with mine and we walk down the corridor. It's times like these that I remember that I have something to be proud of—my son. No matter the mistakes I've made—in relationships and my personal life, I know I've raised a good man.