Robbie set another box on the floor, looking for a new roll of tape from the closet. It felt wrong going through their closets, pulling clothes off hangers that took up Bruno's half of the closet. Piling memories into free mailing boxes from the post office, only to be sent away to donation places, never to be seen again.
Keeping them had been an option, and Robbie would have gladly kept all of Bruno's things if the rent and hospital bills had allowed it. He couldn't afford this place, had barely been able to afford it during Bruno's treatment, resorting to borrowed money from his family and exhausting a savings account.
Bruno would've told him to sell the place and downgrade during the treatment, so Robbie didn't have to worry about the expenses, but how could he when this place had been theirs? It was their first and only place they had ever gotten together, one they had saved up for years to purchase. To sell this place would be the final notch, the remaining tangible thing that Bruno had left him. Without the belongings and the house itself, meant Robbie truly was putting this life they had built for themselves behind him. He couldn't do that to him. Not yet, and he wasn't sure if he ever could fully put the years they had together behind him.
Robbie wrapped another box of old clothes, setting it aside for donations. There were still the drawers of clothes he hadn't gotten to yet, and the rest of Bruno's college papers to sort through. He never understood why Bruno kept all of his old work, including essays from undergraduate to his research for his thesis. It sat in an old filing box that collected dust in their closet. Before that, it had sat in his office at the university, along with other photos and memorabilia he had brought home shortly after his diagnosis.
From the students and staff, Bruno loved working there to learning all there is about his field. He was devastated when the symptoms of his condition had made it impossible to focus, let alone drive to and from work every day. Robbie had convinced him to resign once his treatment started, even though he knew Bruno would rather stay.
Robbie was glad he hadn't convinced Bruno to throw out these papers; it was one more thing he could remember and reminisce about him. He poured his entire life into these papers, and maybe Robbie could envision the old Bruno again, working tirelessly at his thesis. He could almost remember the look on Bruno's face stuck in a computer trying to type up his thesis in the wee hours of the morning next to Robbie in bed. Back then, Robbie had fallen asleep to the sounds of him typing. Now there was no typing, no steady sounds from the machines at the hospitals, or even his shaky breaths.
The memory of Bruno laying there in the hospital played over in his mind, the sleepless nights, the meals they shared. Even their arguments over Robbie's future played over in his head. Robbie slammed the roll of tape on the ground with a frustrated sigh. What was he doing going through his things and throwing them in boxes? Wasn't it too soon for this, he thought? Packing Bruno's stuff like this, was this really what he wanted?
After rubbing his hands against his face, Robbie took a deep breath, grabbing the donation boxes to put in his car. Like ripping a bandaid, he decided he'd drop it off in the morning before he could let the idea of keeping everything simmer. On the way past the living room, Robbie remembered the first and largest fight he and Bruno had gotten into. It had been early in Bruno's treatment after one of his scans showed the severity of cancer. Robbie remembered the words Bruno had said, the desperation and anger towards cancer that had filled the air with tension in their tiny kitchen.
He remembered what Bruno had asked of him then and remembered how those words had stabbed him.
"Leave, Robbie," Bruno had said. "Leave me. This isn't your fight to fight."
Robbie had seen that Bruno didn't want him to leave, didn't want to fight this alone, but knew that Bruno insisted that out of his pride. He hated making people worry, hated that he couldn't be the person he once was for Robbie. He was older, independent, never relied on anyone to fight his battles. From fighting for his students and other teachers to fighting to get into grad school, Bruno had always been the one to fight. To admit defeat and that he needed help meant Bruno had really lost to cancer.
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Death Meet Cute | ONC 2022
General Fiction"They tell you all these things to prepare for someone's death. They warn you about the funeral expenses, the hospital bills, and the implications it could have on your mental health; but they don't tell you how to live after the love of your life d...
