Sleep with me

Prologue

"By any chance, can you come over tonight? I want to sleep with you. I miss you."

I smiled bitterly after reading the letter that was about 4 years ago...

4 years ago, huh.

It was laminated so the paper can keep its shape, but the color changed a bit into yellowish. Thankfully the writings are still visible enough for me to read it every time.

I looked at it for too long, I didn't even notice I was reminiscing the past I am running from.

I sighed as the memories of the past started to came back. I just can't get rid of this, I always wanted to move on, but.. I just.. can't.

"Can you laminate this for me? It's urgent," I told my secretary that is sitting comfortably on her desk beside mine. Marami na ang gasgas sa cover and it's getting more and more visible. It may also cause the letter to be unreadable if I won't do anything right now.

"Handle this with care. Mas importante pa 'to kaysa sa company na ito," I said, obviously putting pressure on her. Inilagay ko sa loob ng isang zip bag ang laminated na hand letter, the cover looks pretty old. When was the last time I changed its cover? I can't recall, it's been a long time.

"Yes sir," She attentively answered and stood up, smiling bubbly. Kinuha niya kaagad nang iabot ko ito sa kaniya. She looked at it with confusion. "Ah sir, sira po pala ang lamination sa 3rd floor, saan ko po ito dadalhin?" She cluelessly asked.

I frustratedly massaged the bridge of my nose. Why would she ask me such a dumb question? She's getting into my nerves again! She's a newly employed secretary that was recruited by my dad. I can't stand her! Mas mabuti pa ang huling sekretaryang nakasama ko rito.

"Dalhin mo sa hospital," I sighed dramatically as I looked at her as if I'm mocking her. "Saan mo ba 'yan gustong dalhin?"

"S-sorry po sir, sige po mauuna na po ako." She hurriedly picked up her black hand bag that is placed neatly on her table. The sound of her heals pierced through my ears as she make her way out of my office.

She has a table here so I don't have to call her from time to time. Less hassle kung iisipin, but to be honest, it is frustrating! She was always distracting me by looking at me everytime she had the chance to, asking dumb questions and saying weird things like I care!

I closed my eyes and rest my back on my swivel chair. It's been a hell week. I've lost contact with my family because of sudden meetings, urgent proposals and so many more for the sake of this company. Dad's been pressuring me to do these things. He even set me up on a blind date yesterday! He's sick, I guess.

The date yesterday happened because of a meeting made by dad. Wala naman talagang ganoon! As what Jaica said, which is my secretary, wala akong appointment kahapon but my dad insisted that it was an emergency meeting.

Just thinking about it makes me more tired. Why would I think of dating someone in this kind of situation? At isa pa, wala akong interes na sumabak muli sa love. I am scared, to be honest. I am scared to be left alone again, I am scared to give everything I could offer and be lost again. I am scared because of that letter, of the past. 

I frustratedly opened my eyes and sighed. Inayos ko agad ang upo at inis na hinampas ang lamesa.

Iniisip ko nanaman ang nakaraan. Ano bang problema ko? Why do I keep thinking about the things that is over. It's all over for pete's sake! Fuck, ano bang mayroon sa nakaraan na wala sa present? Why do I keep coming back to the past, to her...

Why do I... need to keep suffering?

I shook my head and decided to go out for some coffee. I grabbed my keys and wore a black coat that goes so well over my white button down polo and black pants paired with my black leathered shoes.