The Sunlapse (A Light in the Mist AU/rewrite)

XXVI

Song of the Chapter:
Have a Nice Life - Emptiness Will Eat The Witch

Rootspring could feel himself decaying. The misty world around him vanished, with all the weight he knew quickly leaving him. He let out a final gasp, a final scream like it'd bring him back to the beauty of existence, but that just wouldn't work. A numbness grasped the tom. He saw nothing. He heard nothing. He felt nothing.

He was nothing. 

He didn't feel the pain of decomposition anymore. He just felt an emptiness around him. The air was weightless, so light it was suffocating. Rootspring opened his eyes, but blackness still veiled everything, and a chilling silence tainted the air. It was like the bottom of the ocean, where light itself was simply a fairytale. It was completely vacant, completely empty, but just so suffocating. 

I'm dead, right? The thought arose in his vertigo-pooled mind. His body was dead and his spirit was dead, so why was he still aware?  Why had he awoken surrounded by this black abyss, stranded in a dead universe where existence was something only he had? The silence was terrifying, it made him want to scream out into the endless darkness just to hear something.

Rootspring stared down at his paws and he realized why he'd felt so light. He was completely transparent and colourless, he would be invisible if it wasn't for the dull white glow around him, lighting his features. The spirit padded about, searching for something, anything here, but he found nothing. Until, suddenly, Rootspring realized that there was what looked like a crowd of cats in the distance.

He darted towards them, desperate to find someone, or at least something, here. "Where am I? Who are you?" he called out. The thumping of his paws along with his cries were the only sound he could hear. They echoed out into the empty space, as though the crowd was calling back to him and repeating his words in hushed hollers. When he neared them. and the blackness of the abyss unfurled to show them all, Rootspring couldn't believe what'd unfolded itself to his eyes.  

Violetshine, Tree, Needleclaw, Bristlefrost, all the cats he'd cared for when he was still alive were here. They were all smiling, like every cat he loved had traveled to the void to rescue him, just like Shadowsight had come to the Dark Forest. They all had the same appearance that he'd had, being simply glowing white outlines of themselves, but there was a whispering force that told him it was them.

"Why are you here?" Rootspring asked the crowd.

"You know it's not actually us," Bristlefrost meowed. "It's just a dream."

Shadowsight's outline walked up beside her, and nodded. "You won't be here long, but it's not like there is nothing here. You being here makes this place being a "void" impossible."

The group began to surround him, wrapping themselves around him. Soft pelts enfolded him, flooding his fur with warmth and heating his blood, but it changed nothing. He understood now. None of this was real, it was just his mind trying to give him a happy final experience before he left everything he loved behind and stepped out into inexistence. Soon nothing would be left. 

He tried to push it all away, desperate to get the embracing flame off of him. He shook his head, and all the light simply disappeared, drifting apart like vanishing ghosts. He was left enfolded in infinite darkness, solitary in the abyss. The dark may have been endless, but it was not eternal. He was soon to be delivered into everlasting sleep. 

Rootspring didn't feel an immense panic, but he just felt hopeless. It was over. Roostpring felt so empty, and yet so heavy. A pool appeared in front of him, a mimic of the Moonpool, and he stared down. He dipped his forepaws into the waters, diving head-first into the deep lagoon.

The tom fell beneath, succumbing to the water. It didn't feel cold, or dark, or even suffocating. It was warm, engulfing him and embracing him, clear with the shimmering light of a million stars. He felt as though he could breathe perfectly fine. His time in the world was over, he'd played his part, and now there was nothing left for him to do. 

His fear eased into comfort as he stared up at the surface. He watched light pierce it and fill the eternal sea with beauty, but that light was growing smaller as he sank deeper and passed into darkness. He never thought he would feel death twice, but this time, his demise was not terrifying. It was time for him to rest.

Death began to blur his senses, and he felt the dream slip away from his grasp. His consciousness drained away, and he could only wonder what the world would be like without him. What would everyone think now that he was gone? His consciousness finally gave away into the endless ocean, and he knew no more. It was over, and everything would be okay.

He waited and waited for death to consume him fully, as the warmth of the water around, and of his pelt, began to dissipate and simply leave a deathly frost that swallowed him whole. He continued waiting, as the seas continued feeling less welcoming to him.

Why wasn't he losing consciousness yet? This was a dream, right? It wasn't his afterlife. Maybe time was just warped for him.

Rootspring continued waiting. He waited hours. Maybe even a day. He couldn't tell. Soon, the cold was indescribably unbearable. It was like the agony of burning alive, of flames scorching his pelt until the hair burned into falling ash and his flesh melted down into magma. And yet, at the same time, it was like freezing to death. He knew what it was like to freeze, but not to burn. 

His eyes opened. The world was no longer warped by that dreamlike mist, it all was starting to feel real. The surface above was a fractal of crystals, of dark azure diamond encasing him. It was just like the last thing he'd seen before he died the first time. The young tom was suffocating, his ice-filled lungs crying out for a slice of air, but any breath he could make was blocked by the heavy layers of ice crushing him. Even his jaws were frozen open.

Rootspring wondered how a dream could be so painful. The cold was something he'd never felt before. It was like daggers were all around him, stabbing into his skin and tearing through his flesh. It wasn't cold, really, just painful. His throat continued to burn, but every inch of every muscle in his body was grasped tight in frozen shackles. He could not move, no matter how much he wished to break out from this icy prison. It was impossible to feel pain in a dream, right?

He felt so awake now. He could see, he could think, but he was frozen so cold not even his eyelids could move. The ice encased him, but he was perfectly conscious. 

No...

The horror was more chilling than the ice trapping him.

NO.

Then he realized, and he knew it. This wasn't a dream. This was the pain every spirit would forever feel after what Ashfur had done. The revelation was paralyzing, it was too horrifying to even feel shocking. It started to sink into his thoughts, and even though it was impossible to do so in his body-sized cage of frost, it made him want to scream.

There were so many things to miss. He'd never feel the lush grass beneath his paws, or run beneath the sun again. He'd never feel the warm presence of the cats he loved, and by the time every cat he knew was gone, he wouldn't even know. Never again. He'd never live again.

Why couldn't I stop him? Both physically and mentally, he was tortured by a pain he just couldn't describe. He wanted to just hopelessly pray that Bristlefrost and Shadowsight would manage to bring back StarClan and save him, but it just seemed impossible. This was his reality, and his eternity. He could never change it. Ever.

Bristlefrost, I'm so sorry I couldn't save myself. I'm so sorry I couldn't stop Ashfur. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you the life we deserved. But I know you will be okay. I know you will get vengeance against Ashfur and save us. I know you will be a good cat, a cat who will only help us. 

As long as you are okay, it's all okay. That's the only thing that matters.