"𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒? i don't do that nonsense."

- one

‼️⚠️please read the description for TW's [:
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Fear.
Fear filled his thoughts, like an endless loop; it didn't go away. A nightmare that you can't wake up from no matter how hard you tried. His screams and screeches echoed in Xiaos mind, it drove him insane. He didn't want this anymore. He wished he could've done something. The admirable boy whom which he loved so much. Gone. And all thanks to Xiao.
He wished he never fell in love, he wished he could go back in time and reverse all this. It's been almost 3 years, why are the nightmares still here? Why can't he just forget about 𝒉𝒊𝒎 already?
'𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠．𝑯𝒆 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠．'

Silence.
Everything went silent as Xiao arose in his darkened bedroom. He was in a cold sweat . It was uncomfortable, but that was the least of his worries. Breathing overwhelmingly hard, Xiao put his hands in his hair, he squeezed, he squeezed hard. He wished all this would be over. That the boy he loved so much would just come back. If only Xiao didn't get angry, 𝒉𝒆'𝒅 be here, Xiao would be a loving person, but that's not how life works and Xiao hates that fact. He'd always blame himself, Xiao felt as if death was his only option. He never went through with fully erasing himself, and for one reason:

'what if 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 still out there, reborn. i can't leave 𝒉𝒊𝒎 like 𝒉𝒆 left me.'

He knew this thought was stupid but, he had to keep going,
for 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

Xiao never fell back asleep that night, he just laid in bed with his eyes open, waiting for his alarm clock to eventually go off. He hates his classes. Everyone was so loud, and so many people crowded him. Xiao never considered anyone to be his friends, but there was a few people that Xiao could stand a little bit. Hu Tao, Xiangling, and Keqing, he was only on decent terms with Keqing due to his sister, Ganyu. Keqing was probably his favorite, she was quiet, smart and responsible. Unlike the others. They were loud, childish, and never thought twice about anything. Xiao doesn't even know how he dealt with them.

After about an hour his alarm clock went off. Xiao sighed at the noise. 'Waking up' for his classes were one of his least favorite things, he wished he could just cry away all his sorrows in bed and never have to get up. That or spending all his time with him.

Xiao groaned, wiping his sweaty hands on his sheets. He stood up and slowly made his way to his closet that only consisted of a few things, his uniform, a black sweater, and black ripped jeans. He obviously had more clothes than that, it's just he couldn't bare looking at them, they reminded him of the past, when it was him and [C0rUpt3D] against the world, his happy place, a happy place that was destroyed, destroyed due to a petty fight, a happy place that he'll never see again.

Xiao felt tired, so so tired. The amount of sleep he normally got was concerning, 3 hours at most.

Xiao cautiously put on his uniform. It barely even fit him anymore, xiao had gotten so slim due to the lack of eating.

Xiao looked at his full sized mirror, there was a long black blanket over it. He couldn't even stand looking at himself, well, his body at least, he still had a hand held mirror that he had so he could do his hair. That being said, he pulled it out and began to fix up his hair. He sighed at the overwhelming look of his face, he hated it, he way his eyes looked, his eye color, the very noticeable eye bags. Everything about himself bothered him. After a little while he gathered all his necessities, debating if he should bring his phone or not, soonly deciding not too. It was dead anyways, it has been.