Always You/ A Jordan Knight FanFic (Mature Content 18+)✔️

36

Natalia

The floral scent at the funeral home caused my skin to crawl. Never again would I look at flowers the same. With the tragedy of Donnie's death, we decided it would be best to hold a small service for immediate friends and family only. Marlene had pasted together boards displaying photographs of Donnie and Jordan throughout the room. They looked so happy in them. Brothers through it all until I came along.

I nodded politely and accepted condolences, but I wasn't devastated. I didn't wish this for Donnie, but I was finally free. From across the room, I spotted Sadie, who smiled and hugged a few of Jordan's co-workers. She had been very tightlipped about Jordan's condition and had enforced a visitor's restriction where only she and Marlene could see him.

"How are you?" Warren's voice pulled me out of a trance.

"I feel numb," I answered honestly.

"Would you rather feel pain?"

"No, but I should feel sadness. I'm a widow."

Warren suggested we sit. "Natalia." He turned on his chair. "Donnie was a son to me. I gladly adopted him and Jordan when I married Marlene, but even when he was a kid he had anger issues Marlene never wanted to admit. She felt she was to blame. That he was acting out. We got him counseling, and it helped a lot when he was away at college. We thought he'd grown out of it. But what he was doing to you, you didn't deserve."

Taken aback, I stared at him dumbfounded. "You knew?"

"Not until I saw your face. I suspected it but I didn't know for sure. Not to mention, you don't seem like the grieving widow." I wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry we weren't there to help him sooner."

"There's no need to apologize. I never asked for help. How would you two even know?"

Warren sighed and cupped my hand with his. "Marlene will grieve him differently. He was her son. But you shouldn't feel guilty. You suffered tremendously while you were with him. I can tell because you're not the same girl I met ten years ago."

I cried, unable to hold it in anymore. I did feel guilty. If he'd landed his shot, I'd probably be the one dead and Jordan and Donnie would be okay.

"You get your life back." Warren grinned softly. "And that's a good thing."

"I don't know what's next for me." I shook my head. "I'm living one day at a time."

"I know. And the answers will unfold, as they need to. But for now, take it one step at a time."

Sadie held the gathering after the service at her house. She informed the guests that Caleb would stay in his room. I knew she did that to protect him from inquisitive eyes. I couldn't go back to that house, though. There wasn't a bedroom for me to hide in. Instead, I drove to the hospital.

I sat outside the nurse's station for a few hours. My heart ached, and I didn't know what the future held for me. I couldn't stay in Boston anymore. This wasn't my home, but I also didn't know what Jordan wanted. Only the possibility of a future with him kept me here. At seven in the evening, the night shift nurses took over, so a new unfamiliar face sat at the desk. Sadie would be home entertaining and I could potentially sneak in to see Jordan. Slowly, I approached her with a smile.

"Hi." I paused and waited for her to look up at me. "I'm here to see Jordan Knight." She reached for the paperwork, and I slid my license toward her as proof, not that she required it. "I'm his wife," I lied. Since Jordan had been unconscious in the ICU since his surgery, the only one allowed to visit him was his next of kin. In this case Sadie. It was my only chance. We shared the same last name, same address.