One Final Act of Desperation

Chapter 5: My Best Friend Is A What?

A/N: Lord Chalupa here! I enjoyed writing this chapter the most so far through and through. It was previously my favorite chapter from the original fanfic. It had the hurt/comfort, it had the humor, it had the cringe, it had Zeus being a terrible father, and pretty much everything else I enjoy in a good fanfic. Now I just did my best to enhance it and make it even better. This is the second chapter I'm putting out today, so hopefully you all like it.

Disclaimer: All characters and text in bold belong to Rick Riordan. Cover art is not mine. (So, any artists out there that are interested, please send in your work and I may use it as the cover)

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"Chapter 3, Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants."

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The room went silent for a brief moment and then it devolved into hysterical laughter.

"I didn't know you dropped your 'pants' for anyone other than Juniper," Thalia teased. "I'll have to let her know to watch out next time I see her." Grover blanched. "F's sakes Thalia! Are you trying to get me killed!? You know that Juniper would kill me -or worse shave off my goatee- if you told her that! And you know just as well as I do that isn't what the chapter title meant!"

"I don't see you denying that you would drop your 'pants' for Juniper though," Rachel sang in a teasing tone. Grover blushed a bright shade of pink. "I was so right last chapter. I'm going to die from embarrassment before the end of this chapter."

Percy placed his hand on his shoulder and said with a face full of righteousness, "I'm here for you, G-Man. Even if everybody else turns against you for your odd taste in exhibitionism, at lest I will never turn my back on you." The whole room burst into even more hysterics.

Grover's face turned beet red in anger and looked at if he wanted to strangle Percy right then and there. "This is all your fault to begin with! You and your stupid unfiltered mind! I swear on my trusty reed pipes that if I don't get back at you for this then I'm a sheep!"

"Um..." little Grover interrupted; the tips of his ears slightly pink. "Were you guys talking about the dryad, Juniper?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Percy then smirked at Grover who was still fuming beside him. "Are you interested in her?"

Grover blushed and nodded his head shyly. "Yeah," he said. "I think she's super cute."

Aphrodite, Silena, and even Piper cooed at the blushing, young Satyr.

"O gods," Thalia groaned. "I thought he was only this bad when he is around Artemis and her hunters, but now I see that he's always been a lovestruck fool."

Artemis heard this and glared at both Grovers. "What exactly do you mean by this, Thalia?" She questioned her future lieutenant. Thalia's eyes brightened and she was just about to readily sell out one of her best friends, but Grover beat her to it. "What she meant was that I'm just in awe of your majesty and all Satyrs are very thankful of you for protecting nature as much as you can."

Artemis smiled and stuck her chin into the air proudly. "Hmph! As you should be, that was a very acceptable answer."

"Oh great," Ares groaned. "Just what the eternal virgin needed, another ego boost."

"You're the last person that can say that," Artemis growled. "So, if you don't want to risk the chance of being castrated, then I'd shut up if I were you." Ares glared at her and pretended like he wasn't afraid of her threat, but secretly covered his precious jewels which still ached from the most recent time she shot him there with her arrows.