Special painter MS HARRIET RANDALL is arguing with delightful mechanic SIR ZACH OLSSON. HARRIET tries to hug ZACH but she shakes her off.
HARRIET
Please Zach, don't leave me.ZACH
I'm sorry Harriet, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.HARRIET
I am such a person!
ZACH frowns.
ZACH
I'm sorry, Harriet. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
ZACH leaves.
HARRIET sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, noble lawyer DCI RHIANNON OLSSON barges in looking flustered.
HARRIET
Goodness, Rhiannon! Is everything okay?RHIANNON
I'm afraid not.HARRIET
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...RHIANNON
It's ... a Vampire ... I saw an evil Vampire frame a bunch of babies!HARRIET
Defenseless babies?RHIANNON
Yes, defenseless babies!HARRIET
Bloomin' heck, Rhiannon! We've got to do something.RHIANNON
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.HARRIET
You can start by telling me where this happened.RHIANNON
I was...
RHIANNON fans herself and begins to wheeze.
HARRIET
Focus Rhiannon, focus! Where did it happen?RHIANNON
Quality Cafe, Los Angeles! That's right - Quality Cafe, Los Angeles!
HARRIET springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
HARRIET rushes along the street, followed by RHIANNON. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. QUALITY CAFE, LOS ANGELES - SHORTLY AFTER
MAY MEADOWS a malicious Vampire terrorises two babies.
HARRIET, closely followed by RHIANNON, rushes towards MAY, but suddenly stops in her tracks.
RHIANNON
What is is? What's the matter?HARRIET
That's not just any old Vampire, that's May Meadows!RHIANNON
Who's May Meadows?HARRIET
Who's May Meadows? Who's May Meadows? Only the most malicious Vampire in the universe!RHIANNON
Blinkin' knickers, Harriet! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most malicious Vampire in the universe!HARRIET
You can say that again.RHIANNON
Blinkin' knickers, Harriet! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most malicious Vampire in the universe!HARRIET
I'm going to need stakes, lots of stakes.
May turns and sees Harriet and Rhiannon. She grins an evil grin.
MAY
Harriet Randall, we meet again.RHIANNON
You've met?HARRIET
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young HARRIET is sitting in a park listening to some reggae music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.
She looks up and sees MAY. She takes off her headphones.
MAY
Would you like some wine gums?
HARRIET's eyes light up, but then he studies MAY more closely, and looks uneasy.
HARRIET
I don't know, you look kind of malicious.MAY
Me? No. I'm not malicious. I'm the least malicious Vampire in the world.HARRIET
Wait, you're a Vampire?
HARRIET runs away, screaming.
INT. QUALITY CAFE, LOS ANGELES - PRESENT DAY
MAY
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.RHIANNON
(To HARRIET) You ran away?HARRIET
(To RHIANNON) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
