Second Chances

Chapter 6

Friday. I was sitting in my office and staring at my calendar. I was four days late. Girls' stuff. I was four days late. It could mean anything I told myself. I was too stressed and I was not eating properly. We took precautions. He took precautions. I think he did. Or did he think I was on pill? I stopped taking the pill after I told myself to pause with men. Besides, I never have casual sex with any man. No! No! My mind screamed at my foolishness. He was careful. Am I certain of that? Crap. I was only thinking of him during those times we made love. I never thought about protections. This is so irresponsible of me. I wanted confirmation. Now. I stood up with the firm intention of knowing the truth.

I took my belongings and Lily lifted her head as I walked in front of her desk. "I have an emergency problem. I don't know when I'll be back. If there's any message for me leave it on my table."

I didn't wait for her reply and left her gasping. I headed to the University of Columbia state hospital and prayed that it was wrong. It was only a flaw in my bio-system. That everything is going to be alright. My life would not be turned into a mess. I'll get my normal life back. Nothing will happen. This is a minor complication with my body. I just need a proper diet and do yoga.

"You're two weeks pregnant! By the look on your face, I'd not say congratulations are in order," Ryan Connelly stated.

I was more than stunned. A bolt of lightning fell upon me. I was as if knocked down by a car. Or as if I just witnessed a plane crash in front of my eyes. As if the doctor told me I was going to die in one month. Instead, I am pregnant. I have a cell growing up inside me which in turn would grow up into a baby. I held my cheeks in both hands and stared at Ryan. He was sheepishly staring back at me. "I can't be. How?"

Ryan was in his mid-thirties and was the doctor who helped Kate give birth to her three children. He was a very good friend of the family. It was natural of me to come to see him. "Well, when a man and a woman decided they..."

"Shut up Ryan. Oh god, this is wrong. This is completely wrong. I am not pregnant. I cannot be pregnant," I kept repeating to myself. I was starting to turn hysteric. I was bordering on a panic crisis. I breathed in and out slowly. I leaned backward on the leather chair and wished myself to calm down.

Ryan was beginning to see the gravity the news had on me. It was not that I hate babies or children. But the problem was that I was not married. Okay, that was a feeble excuse. Unmarried women have kids of their own these days. What about the father? Louis. How will he react? I won't tell him not until I've taken a decision. But he has a right to be told. Do I want to keep the baby? I have a dozen questions forming in my head, but I asked Ryan once again, "Are you sure?"

"The results and tests are here Haley. We can do it again."

I sighed. I was lost and the fears surged back in me. I have no maternal fiber in me. I love shopping and I love my work. A baby is a lot of work and time by itself. I laughed out and felt the desperation creeping up in me. "What do you think is the wisest thing to do?"

Ryan walked from behind his desk and came to sit on the other chair by my side. He took my hand and gently said, "Take some rest. Think about what you really want deep inside you. Do you want this baby? Do you think you can take care of him or her? I know I should not ask but don't you think that the father would help you make the right decision?"

"Him or her?" I murmured in awe.

He smiled, "Yeah. Him or her."

I smiled at him, "Him. That would be good."

"See. You're feeling better already."

"I have never changed diapers in my entire life."

"What about Kate and Lucas's babies?"