Cabello's Baby

Chapter Seven

-Camila's POV-

We've been back on the bus after the show and showers for a little under an hour and we are now heading to our next destination. Dinah and Ally have gone straight to their bunks and Normani is sitting in the front of the bus with Lauren.

I'm still planning on talking to Lauren before we go to bed ourselves but I want to get Ariella in her bed first. I've made Lauren aware of this but she said it was okay and that we will talk once Ariella is asleep.

All the girls are used to me wanting to spend anywhere between an hour or two with Ariella after a show and especially after a busy day like we had today. I just like to do simple things like play with her, sing to her or I like to just sit down with her but the girls respect that and will leave me alone during that time.

I've only managed to spend about 15 minutes with her tonight because she's so tired and ready for her milk. Before bed, she will nurse for between 30 and 40 minutes and then will sleep a lot longer at night. She still wakes up 3 or 4 times a night sometimes more but it depends on the night.

I have already changed Ariella's diaper and put a fresh set of footie pyjamas on her so that she's ready to go straight into bed after she's fallen asleep. which shouldn't be long now.

She's been nursing steadily for around 15 minutes and is struggling to stay awake, her eyes keep closing so I know she will be asleep within the next few minutes.

I leave her until I know she's asleep before unlatching her and sorting my bra and top out. I then take her to her bed and lay her down in it making sure everything is as it should be.

I make sure she's safe in her bed and head to the front of the bus.

"Lo?" I call her name and quickly get her attention.

"Yeah? Are you ready to talk?" I give her a small nod in response.

She nods back at me and gets up. We both say night to Normani and head to the back of the bus. Lauren sits herself down and after a bit, I sit down as well.

We sit in silence for a while because I'm not sure how to start.

"Are you okay Camz, I thought you wanted to talk?"

"I do I just don't know how to start or where to start. There is so much going on in my mind that I'm struggling to get it out and to know what to say."

"That's okay we can start with one thing and make our way through as much as you want. Is there something that is going through your mind more often?"

I fumble with my fingers "There are a few things that stand out more in my mind yeah."

"What are they?" Lauren questions taking my hands into hers to try and help calm my nerves.

"The things we've spoken about before are going through my mind again but are coming up more because people have been questioning me no matter where we are."

She gives me a small nod and smiles, my hands still in hers. "Have they been asking you more frequently?"

"Yeah, they've been asking me about Ariella's father and asking who he is and why he isn't in her life. They've been asking how I didn't know what was going on with my body, asking how I didn't know I was pregnant. They've been asking me why I kept her, asking me why I'm still doing what I'm doing and why I'm dragging her around with me. They've been calling me a bad mother and telling me I shouldn't have Ariella and telling me I don't deserve her because of the things I'm doing..."