Finding Abby

Chapter 2: Red

“Are you sick?”

I look incredulously at Nath. “Pardon me?”

“Are you, you know, ill or something?” she repeats.

I let out a bitter laugh. “Do you really want to know?”

She slips her hand into mine and holds it tight. I can sense how scared she is. “It’s your tummy, isn’t it?” she asks eventually. Her voice is quivering.

Holding my eye contact with her, I wonder if it really is time I begun.

I nod.

--

 It’s three years, two months and thirteen days since The Incident today.

Not that I’m, you know, counting.

“Bye,” mom kisses my forehead. Her eyes are void and she avoids looking at me as she hands me my water-bottle.

As I walk out into the verandah where my brother is waiting for me, I hear her say something along the lines of ‘Have fun’ from behind, but I don’t bother coughing up a reply, sinking into step beside my brother.

Allister is a year younger to me, and he knows me more than anyone else. He doesn’t necessarily understand me, but if given the chance, he can define me in one sentence without any thinking time.

I’m yet to figure out if I enjoy that or not.

The walk to Newton’s High is short enough, and while we pass quite a number of students on our way there, Allister doesn’t leave my side. That’s something I love about my brother – in school he might act like we aren’t remotely related, but anyone who sees us walking around the city would know we’re siblings. This, I enjoy for sure.

We’ve covered a big amount of distance when he speaks up.

“Excited?”

I snort. “For school?”

He doesn’t reply. It’s a rhetoric question.

“Yeah, I guess,” I say finally, fingering the straps of my backpack. “I mean, there’s not much to look forward to, is there?”

“We’re having a debate competition this term,” he points out.

“Yay,” I deadpan.

Allister chuckles. “A bit more enthusiasm and we could conquer Japan.”

“Because conquering Japan is what I want to do with my life.”

He rolls his eyes. “And you still have no friends?”

I don’t reply; my brother doesn’t get this part. The part where I’m comfortable with him, but not with anyone else. My sarcasm, humor, it all builds up to the twenty minute walk we share to school. It’s the only part of my life in which I feel normal – the only remainder of how my life was three years ago.

Everything else has changed.

Much to my frustration, the rest of the walk passes in silence, until finally the tall building of Newton’s High looms (okay, this is me exaggerating) above us. Students are milling in, and some bump shoulders with Allister and greet him on their way.

The familiar feeling of being insignificant sinks in.

“This is where we depart,” my brother says simply.

I nod, and watch as he walks unceremoniously away. As I stand there, other pupils knock shoulders with me. But it isn’t the friendly knock they had given my brother. This one translates into Get Out Of My Way Before You Cause A Stampede. I kick my legs into motion and try blending in with the crowd – doesn’t work; I stick out like a sore thumb.