HEARTWORM <3 BAYLEN LEVINE

4

"Stop; just shut up. I cant stand this."

We'd been in one of Yachty's guest rooms for over an hour, trying to sort through our baggage. Every time it seemed like we were seeing eye to eye past simple stuff, we hit a crossroad.

It's not that we didn't get along anymore, it's that I couldn't stand the person he was acting like right now. My guess was that he'd expected me to have stayed the same since high school, in which case he was severely mistaken.

I was a lot quieter in high school, a lot more content with just being along for the ride. Now, I was more outspoken. I voiced my opinions and I wasn't going to put my happiness aside for anyone.

That wasn't the problem though, the problem was that Baylen didn't seem to realize how serious us being friends was for me. Giving a part of myself back to the first and only guy I'd ever loved was scary. It meant trusting him all over again, and that meant letting the walls I'd built down.

While I realized the reasons we broke up were now childish and not worth holding a grudge over, that didn't mean I was ready to embrace his presence again. He didn't seem to grasp that I took the breakup just as hard as him, or that it didn't only put him through emotional distress.

It was making me sick to think about him being as low as I was when it first happened, but I hoped he had the support of the people I left here. Either way, I knew it was hard. At the end of the day, it wasn't about whether or not I wanted him back in my life, because I did. It was about if I could have him in my life and not become attached.

I threw myself back on the bed, laying my head next to his, "I'm sorry. It's just hard." It took me a second to find the words I was looking for, "I just don't think I can stop myself from becoming reliant on you again."

He turned towards me, "What's so bad about that?"

A sigh left my lips as I burned my head in the crook of his neck, throwing my arm and leg around him, "You know exactly why. We can't just act like we didn't spend years apart. I barely know you anymore."

His left hand met my thigh, his right coming up to hold my arm. His hands squeezed a little, "I know. I'm sorry too. If it makes you feel any better I full and well plan on accepting your $50 request."

-

While my talk with Baylen didn't completely satisfy my thoughts about if he was safe back in my life, it did subside them a little.

I was now on my way home, the clock in my cars console reading 9:36. I was supposed to have visited my parents today, but when I called to come over they were out. It was probably better that way, if they'd been home I wouldn't have made it to Yachty's.

As I pulled into my spot and shifted my car into park, Gracen was also pulling in. She didn't give me the chance to bombard her with questions as we made our way to the apartment, immediately putting me under the microscope, "You still haven't told me your details of last night."

I threw my hands up in mock defense, "You're getting home at the same time as me, motherfucker. Where have you been?"

I could've just as easily looked at where she was on our Life360 circle, but hearing it from her would probably give me some details I was likely to miss out on.

"Guess."

She always did this shit, knowing full and well I had no idea what her thought process was half the time, "I'm out of guesses. Tell me."

She stopped suddenly, myself following in her tracks, "Confession time - I was at Alex's."

My mouth immediately dropped open, "No fucking way! Why?"