The Devil in the Window

Out the window stands a monster. Or rather in the mirror, stands the Devil. I marvel with a mad smile at the horror that I have become. The eyes of doctors and psychologists glaring, analyzing my every move, through the fascinating mirror. Yet, if I focus hard enough, on rare occasions the Devil permits me to witness the frail, boney, sickly-looking body I have become. The mental institution I was detained in had diagnosed me with Schizophrenia. However, what they failed to notice was what really hid behind the mask of the dying girl. They failed to acknowledge the Devil was in their midst once again.

For days on end, the Devil would not allow me any semblance of movement, standing at the mirror and looking out hoping, maybe just once, I would glimpse my home and my family. Little did I know, I would never lay my eyes on their beautiful faces again.

Pain is all that was left. There was only one type of pain with my companion. When I regained too much strength and began taking back what once was mine, the fire would ignite. The Devil burned, burned bright, ripping at my lungs, heart, and soul. Yet, once the screams would cease and I would make my way back to the lonely window, not a scar of what consumed me would remain.

Some days the Devil's torture became mental. Oh, he loved to mess with my memories. On these days I was an empty shell, not a family, not a past, not a future. For hours standing before my audience, I would grasp the last shreds of my being. My name.

"Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen..." I would whisper until he would bore and find another mind game to play.

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I woke up with a start, feeling the steel bed frame digging into my spine. The world was silent, I leaped off the feeble cot to the ground. What I failed to realize was the state my body was in, I crumpled to the chilling cement floor.

THE DEVIL WAS GONE! His voice was silent, my soul felt clean and painful. I could feel the pain of my dying body, and yet, that was of no concern to me as I could once again feel the pain. Oh, how wonderful it was to feel pain. I laughed and laughed delighted by my new discovery. My laugh was none that I have heard before, it was beautiful. I began to rise off the icy floor when my laugh turned to a blood-curdling shriek.

"NO! NO!" My mind filled with the whispers and voices it had just been cleared of. And a dominating, howling laugh echoed in my ears.

"Missed me, darling?" It chuckled, "Didn't think I would be gone so soon did you?"

"YOU SON OF A-" My voice cut off as the ringing became deafening, I grabbed my head, my hair, tearing at my scalp. My toes curled so tightly they must have broken. I screamed and screamed till my throat felt raw and bloody.

The monstrous metal door swung open as staff raced in.

"He's back. Please help me," I whispered, ripping my raw throat, "He's gonna kill me. I'm gonna die." Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt the touch of the sharp point of a needle and a cloth perhaps.

"You're okay honey," the nurse whispered, one who seemed oddly familiar.

"I don't deserve to die. I'm...I'm only 16?" Or was I 17? The days had lost count in my head.

"I know, I know, just relax for me, will you?" Her voice was so calm and soothing, it felt cool to my ears after the raging hot howls.

The drug slowly kicked in, the images before me blurred, and I was lulled to sleep by a childhood melody.

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The nurse suddenly lay below me. How could that be? I shook my head, yes it was her yet she wasn't her... she was Daphne, my sister. A sense of worry settled within, my Daph, she was so pale, the IV slowly pumping fluids into her body. Yet it wasn't enough, they were not doing enough! Tears of frustration rolled down my face.

That melody, there it was again, yet it came out of my limps. My voice, it was once so sweet unplagued by the burden I now shouldered.

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I slowly came to my senses. Once more returning from my memories to this horrid enclosure. Yet my mind still lingered in the clouds. That night had been the night I had taken on my companion, the Devil. I struck a bargain which I could never regret, my life for Daphne. In a matter of days Daphne had recovered, yet I could not say the same about myself.

The Devil had taken complete control of my mind and body. Under his directive, I had done horrors unseen to man in centuries. I had been convicted a matter of hours later for first-degree murder, and once assessed by specialists, shipped off to the gods nowhere to this fine mental institution I now live out my days in.

What burned more than the Devil's flame, more than seeing the way my best friend, my sister glare at me was the burn that came with the knowledge of the truth. Yes, my hands, my body had committed the murders. However, what they did not know was that it was not me, I had never laid hands on those people whose lives I took. It was that monster inside me, that monster that craved death and destruction.

Something in my very core sparked, no, not the spark of the scorching flame but a spark of...hope. Seeing my sister today had changed something, thoughts that had been blocked and shoved into the depths of my mind by the Devil resurfaced. If I were to rid myself of this fine fellow leeching off my body, I may be capable of amending at least a pittance of my wrongs and to have my sister look me in the eyes without fear coursing through her veins.

For weeks I had been patiently biding my time, collecting my strength and feeding on the hope, which grew more powerful with each passing day. The day had come I had awoken at an unknown hour on an unknown day. The day had come, I would be taking my life and freedom back once and for all. Without a clue of what I must do I started. Pulling at thoughts in my mind, not my own, voices of unknown origin, when I entered the realm of the Devil. Loud shrieks of agony filled my ears, low rumbling voices shaking my consciousness.

"I see my little pet has come to play." The too familiar voice resonated through my terror. "Your little plan you have devised won't succeed. You have no id-" His voice cut off as I launched all I had at this monster, all my remaining strength into his very center.

A roar unlike any I have heard excited my companion.

"I see, this is how you want to play, after everything I have done for you. I SPARED YOUR SISTER'S LIFE, AND THIS IS HOW YOU SO GRACIOUSLY REPAY ME?!" He was enraged, the body, neither mine nor his, began to shake. "You know I grew to like you. The way you think, or I should say thought, fascinated me. I might have even let you find peace. Clearly, that will not be happening. No one else is to blame for this, but you. YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST AND NOW YOU WILL PAY. THE DEAL IS OFF! Say bye-bye to your little sister, BECAUSE SISTER HERE MESSED WITH THE WRONG COMPANY!"

My chest began to burn as I was abruptly launched into the room out of the Devil's horrifying realm. I jerked, the room... the room was in flames. Or was it me? I shrieked and burned, and the pain got worse and worse until it was unbearable. My skin began melting off my bones and through it all, he laughed, laughed as if it was funny. My pain began to reseed, and I understood what came next, it was the end. The end to all.

A deafening voice brought me back. "You thought it was that easy. No darling you will live, you live and suffer from the knowledge of what you were too weak to prevent. Because unlike everything that has happened. This is your fault. You killed your sister."

I fell to the floor, skin, and bone intact. Mind racing but...but silence. I was alone, I was alone, the Devil was gone. I even smiled as a tear rolled down my burning cheek. Too short was that blissful moment until it all came back. As blood-curdling screams echoed through the vents.

"DAPHNE! DAPHNE! NO NO PLEASE! COME BACK! I WILL DO ALL YOU SAY! PLEASE NO!" I rushed to the door thrashing with all the will left in me as her screams continued. I charged the window, leaving bloody smears along the pristine mirror.

Her screams ceased. Only to be resumed by a different voice, from a different room, this time they didn't stop. I wouldn't stop. Because I knew it was my fault, and I was a killer. I killed my sister.