Violet Evergarden Stories

Before the Final Battle

Gentle murmurs quieted around the encampment as dusk settled into the darkness of night. Violet searched for solace within the warmly lit confines of her tent. Securing the enemy's headquarters in the upcoming battle was crucial in ending the war. Angst and unease were like deadly bullets searching to reap more lives. With the final stretch of the war only hours away, the whole battalion could feel the heavy presence of those invisible bullets shrieking through the air.

Violet, however, felt the weight of a different burden.

She spoke softly, breaking the still air. "Major.... Am I not needed anymore?"

Paces of silence followed her question until Major Gilbert replied solemnly. "What are you talking about?" His deep voice resounded throughout the tent making Violet feel hollow.

She raised her head prepared to fight for her place next to the Major, the only place she really knew. Violet was startled when she glanced up and found the Major's crushing green eyes darken as they swept over hers in a way that was almost vulnerable. She wanted to hold the Major the same way his gaze intensely gripped her. Before she was completely lost in his stare she asked firmly, "Will I be disposed of and transferred into Colonel Hodgins's custody?"

When he didn't respond right away, she pressed on once more, a dreadful fear sinking into her. "Will you not give me orders anymore?" She said faintly.

The Major's eyes darkened. "Do you want my orders so badly?" he asked with deadly calm.

His callous response twinged Violet's courage, yet she desperately held her resolve. "Your orders are everything to me."

Another moment of silence passed. Violet's chest clenched in dreaded anticipation; she could guess what he was about to say.

He finally responded. "After this battle, you can stop taking orders from me." He laughed disheartedly. Every losed breath tore at Violet's fragile guise. "Actually, you can stop taking orders from anyone," he continued. "Live free."

The words spoken were meant to be hopeful, celebratory. But there wasn't a glimmer of joy behind them.

"Is that an order?" Violet's voice shook. She flinched at the harsh sound of a chair scraping the gravel beneath.

"Why... why would you take that as an order?" The Major stood abruptly, slowly making his way closer to Violet. "Do you really think I see you as a tool?" he said, gritting out his words. 

Tears began to well in Violet's eyes. She could feel silent rage with each step that closed the distance between them. Wounded by his slight of words, she retreated further into the shadows of the tent. Without the Major, she would be forever lost. Without his commands, she would live with no purpose. Violet could defeat any peril. She found her worth as nothing but a human weapon. The strength of the battalion's best soldiers were unequal to Violet's strength alone. 

Only Major Gilbert had the command that willed Violet to his mercy. A power she knew he loathed. But why, she didn't know. She wondered if he detested her the same as anyone else who crossed her path. The thought made her further spiral deep within her own anguish.

Now cornered, Violet felt the Major's towering presence. He filled the tight space around them. The heavy rise and fall of his chest matched every breath that caressed her face. She flitted her eyes away to stop the heat beginning to bloom across her cheeks. The musk of Leiden's forests and faint traces of gunpowder suddenly overwhelmed her nerves. They were standing so close.

"If I did, I would never have kept you beside me all this time," he said, his voice steady.

"Major," was all she could muster. She tried blinking away her tears along with her sorrow.

"You have emotions. You have a heart just like me!" Major Gilbert's serene demeanor began to crack. "If you don't then how do you explain that look on your face?"

A tender hand caressed Violet's cheek, bringing her to face him once more. His thumb gently traced the tears gliding down her face. He hesitated at her lips as he spoke. "You are perfectly capable of making such expressions," his voice kept rising.

"You find me scary right now, don't you?" he finally yelled.

Indeed she did. Nobody ever saw a break in composure with the Major. But around her, it was always teetering on a fine line. Now shouting, he asked, "You don't like being yelled at out of nowhere, do you?"

Violet tried yelling back. "I don't understand," she choked out. Tears began forming tiny pools on the tips of her dusty shoes. Violet wanted to run away. If Major Gilbert planned to abandon her, the only thing she could do was run and hide. She brought her hands up to the Major's chest to push him away, but he only held her closer.

"These unreasonable words anger you, do they not?" he kept shouting. Everything was wrong. The Major's words clambered in her mind like canons meant to break the iron she built within herself.

Feeling helpless, Violet quietly repeated, "I do not understand."

"You lie!" he cried in what seemed like a silent plea. Violet felt his breathing become ragged as he kept his tight hold around her.

Both broken in ways they could not comprehend, Violet and the Major stood studying each other in the heavy silence that followed. It was all they could do. Violet could not begin to understand that Major Gilbert undeniably yearned for her in every way. Her happiness, her protection, and even her heart. She struggled to comprehend how each day felt like yet another betrayal of her to the General. She was his precious and beautiful lie.

"I'm not lying," Violet finally said. "I really do not understand. I... I want to keep taking orders from you. If you order me to, I shall go anywhere," she implored. Unable to fully express herself, Violet surrendered. "That is all."

Violet weakly stood in place feeling Major Gilbert finally release his grip on her. Feeling the heat from his body leave hers, a final tear rolled down her face.

Guilt and shame tainted the Major's handsome face. "I'm sorry, but I can't watch you force yourself to remain a weapon," he whispered. "It hurts me."

Numbness replaced any emotion as Major Gilbert continued, "I was the one who took you in when you were so young and turned you into this. And yet, you still believe in me. You haven't done anything wrong."

Turning his back on her, Major Gilbert finally said, "The final battle is only a few hours away. Let's talk about this some other time."

Keeping her eyes to the ground, Violet slowly tried to piece back the remnants of her broken heart in the dark corner of her tent.