Nadine Cross - Life Unknown

Chapter One - Into the Light

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Chapter One

 Into the light

 It was a beautiful spring morning the day Nadine awoke.  She could feel the warm sun on her face peeking through the dusty blinds.  She could hear the birds chirping fiercely through her window as they too had been awakened by the new day.  Nadine had been out of it for many months now.  She had been sleepwalking her way through life ever since the day her marriage to Ty ended.  Even though it was her decision to leave him, she had regretted it deeply.  Nadine had fallen head long into a deep dark depression that had her zombie-like ever since….until today.   Nadine climbed out of bed surprised to feel the coolness of the tile beneath her feet, severely contrasted by the heat of the sun that had delightfully warmed her face.  She was amazed at how acute her senses were.  As she looked around her bedroom she could not help but notice how stark everything was.  She almost did not recognize the room at all, and then she remembered. 

Nadine stood by the bed a little while longer trying to shake off the sleepiness she felt, not wanting to revert back to the cocoon she had just emerged from and had become so accustomed to.  Forcing herself fully awake, stopping for a moment to stretch; she grabbed her robe on the way to her bedroom door.  As soon as the door was opened Nadine was forced to shield her eyes from the brilliant mid-morning sun light illuminating the entire house.  Like a deer caught in headlights she struggled to maintain her focus.  Able to see again she descended the stairs.  Nadine could here movement down in the kitchen.  Pots and pans being shuffled about; water running in the kitchen sink, cabinet doors opening and closing, and her mom humming softly.  Nadine smiled to herself at this.  It had been a very long time since she had heard her mom so seemingly happy.  Throughout the house the aroma of the feast that was being prepared was heavenly.  Grits, homemade biscuits, bacon, eggs and coffee were the menu of choice for this morning.  To Nadine, not only had she been asleep for many months, but it felt as if she had not eaten in as long.

As Nadine entered the kitchen her mom looked up at her with the most radiant smile she had ever seen on the old woman’s face.  She actually beamed at Nadine.  She held out her arms and embraced her youngest daughter and said “welcome back.”  With tears in her eyes Nadine returned her mom’s warm loving embrace and replied “glad I could make it”.  At this they both laughed.  Nadine knew what a hardship her time away had been for her mom.  Nadine was everything to her and had put a real fright in the woman as she slowly drifted into the deep dark precipice that had consumed her for so very long.  Marie had tried everything she could to bring her child back into the light and finally she had come through.  As Nadine and her mom sat at the dinning room table consuming the morning’s feast Marie had prepared, they made light-hearted banter about this and that.  Nadine smiled and nodded in all the right places but could not help but find herself drifting away with thoughts of her own.  She wondered how she had miraculously made it to the other end of the long gloomy tunnel she had been in for so long.  How could she have reached the other side of the sheer misery and despair that had completely taken over her life?

After the last dish had been washed and put away, Nadine headed back up to her room to prepare for the day.  She found herself smiling, humming, and actually enjoying the morning and even feeling happy for a change. On her way she happened to glance into the bathroom, and caught a glimpse of someone in the mirror who looked a lot like her, but couldn’t possibly be.  This person whom she saw staring back at her was a shell of a woman; gaunt, very thin, pale as a ghost and by the looks of it, had been ill for some time.  Her hair was dry and unkempt, her eyes hollow with dark circles, her lips ashen.  Nadine cried out in shock and disbelief as she surely could not have been this far gone without even realizing it herself.  But she was and she hadn’t.  Life had slipped away from Nadine as surely as the love that Ty purported to have for her and the life that they shared.  When she looked back in the mirror, she saw the heartache, pain and betrayal she had felt because of him and what he had done to her.   “Damn you Ty!” she spat at the mirror…. “Damn you.”  This time the anger that rose inside her to a thunderous crescendo did not make her feel sad or self pity.  This time Nadine was PISSED OFF!  Not only was Nadine pissed at Ty and what he had done, she was pissed at herself for what she had permitted him do to her.  “No more,” she told herself, “no more.”  Nadine’s face was hot with tears as she left the bathroom with sheer determination to take back her life and get back to the land of the living.