where i end and you begin

*bzzz*
*bzzz*
*bzzz*

My eyes struggled to open and battle against the reflection of the sun, beaming through my window. I patted my hand around my bedside table to switch off my alarm. It finally stopped. This was the last day before summer. I was excited to never do homework ever again. This was my final year being a student. I can't wait.

I roughly made my bed and almost skipped towards the shower in excitement. I wasn't even 5 minutes, i was that buzzed. I threw what I needed in my ruck sack, i planned to ask them out. I have been planning this since last summer. I'm going to do it in Physics class, i sit right next to them, so it's the perfect opportunity. Her hair fell down her back and shoulders like a waterfall of silk. She always wore a purple butterfly clip in her hair, following different make up each day.

I grabbed my bag, and made my way out the door. Locking it behind me. Both my parents work at an office, just round the corner from my school. I keenly chewed my gum, excited to see her. I ran over to my group of friends near the entrance, high fiving them all as we were all buzzed for summer.

The school bell tolled, for the last time before I left forever. My first class was history, I walked along the corridor,  watching everybody pass me with smiles on their faces. After I entered the classroom, I noticed the kid who sat behind me wasn't in, i mean, it wasn't unusual for people to skip their last day. I didn't think anything of it. I watched the clock the entire lesson, tapping my pencil, we didn't even do any work, we just sat talking about our future plans. It was finally time for physics class, this was the time. I prepared myself and sniffed my arms to make sure I smelled good. I did.

I laid my bag down on the floor next to the high rise desk, my hands were already sweating.

"Hey..." I shyly hummed
"Hi!" She excitedly grinned, giving me a semi hug

My entire face turned red, so I quickly got out my book to try and hide my face. She laughed. Our class was fairly loud, everybody was excited to leave, but it was also a bit sad because we might not see some people ever again. I checked my phone to see the time, i discovered a text message from my friend in calculus class.

"Be safe bro, I am not getting a good feeling" it read.

He was normally always right about those kind of things, but something must've of made him feel like that...come to think of it, the kid who sat behind me in history never usually misses the last day, he'd always come in and try and get some girls numbers. As I closed my phone, she was peering over me.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, concerned.

"Yeah...just my friend texting me..." I quickly answered, hoping to avoid the topic.

"I just wanted to tell you something" I spoke, clearing my throat.

"We have been friends for a while now, and i was just wondering if you would like to...umm...go out with me?" I stammered.

She just blankly stared at me. Until she let out a giggle

"Yes, I would be honoured" she laughed, drawing a lover heart in my hand with her pen

"The school is going on lockdown, active shooter present" Blared through the entire school, making a crackling sound, the loud class soon turned quiet. Our teacher glanced at us, like he has been through this before. He quickly stood up at closed the shutter on the door and screeched tables and chairs infront of the door, the rest of the class joined. She grasped onto my hand, she was scared. And so was I. We made our way to the corner of the classroom, before the teacher told us to put our phones away, i tried to get as many texts in as possible.

"Mom there's a shooter on campus, i love you."
"Comfort mom please, i love you."
"stay safe guys, love y'all"
"I love you, keep quiet"

I held onto her hand. Hoping to comfort her. The whole class was silent. A bullet was shot through our classroom door. Making wood shavings explode everywhere. The shooter started repeatedly banging on our classroom door, but it stopped for a couple minutes, in that time, I heard 34 gunshots. That's a whole class. The banging then continued on our door. They finally broke through, raging through the chairs and tables. There was no escaping this. I made myself into a shield to cover her body.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

I gulped, my eyes closed. I think she was crying. A warm stream from her face. I put my hand closer to her. It wasn't tears. She has been hit. In her head. I was cradling her corpse. Her eyes were open, i stared back at them. She was still holding my hand. The heart she drew was still on my hand. Half of the class had been hit, i just held her. I held her in my arms, my legs weak and numb from sitting on the floor, i wasn't moving until she was moved. I still protected her. Like I would if she didn't get shot. Like I would if we hung out all summer break and had our first kiss. Or like I would when we would fight. I'll never experience that.

I was face to face with the shooter. It was the kid from history. He started at me, lowering his empty gun to the floor. A glaze of tears formed over his eyes, and realised who he shot.

"I was going to ask her for her number during break..." he calmly spoke, he smiled a little.

He pulled out a pistol from his jacket and turned the gun on himself. One shot and his head exploded like some shitty confetti bomb. I just closed my eyes again.

I'm scared to close them now. I think I will be forever. All i see is her, and him.

I got the heart she drew on me tattooed. I left her an engagement ring next to her grave a couple years after she passed. Hoping one day, it would be on her finger.

I loved her. I love her. I will continue to love her.

I love you. You would of made me the happiest man on earth. I hope you're doing alright up there, I'll be with you soon.