Crossed

「 13 」

Oh, I've done it now! Mom's going to kill me and you know what? I probably deserve it2 Make sure my coffin's at least cute! Okay?

I pace my room back and forth. Mom kept asking me about Gakushu, but how could I tell her anything accurate when he wasn't talking to me!? Exactly, which is why I kept brushing her off. Last night, though! Damnit. I couldn't sleep last night, just thinking about my stupid mouth!

I said, ugh. I drag a hand down my face, recalling the words I'd uttered.

"Yeah-hehe. Gakushu said we could have dinner this Sunday." Which is tomorrow! I've only got one thing going for me and that's my ability to be able to run away. I can get out of this if I get hit by a car or disappear for a few days. There has got to be a way out of this!

I stagger a little, looking out my window. I hop on my bed, grabbing my book bag for a pen and my diary behind my pillow. It's still dark out, so I rely on the light of my phone to be my guide.

Dear Diary,

I start,

there are a few things I need to start off with. First of all:

I take a deep breath before continuing,

I take back everything nice I said about Gakushu. He is such a bipolar, one-minded, egocentric A-class jerk!

I breathe in and I breathe out, then begin to write again, but my phone dings. I sigh purposely and slide my diary across from me while simultaneously picking up my phone. My eyes roll over the notification box, half expecting it to be Death himself saying he's here to collect my soul. The other, rational part of my brain thinks it's Akiyama messaging me about our project presentation Monday. Maybe want to meet up for a few final adjustments.

The shock that runs my mind thoughtlessly is unbelievably stupid big.

Gakushu

Reads my notification box at the very top. My first thought is: I should change his name to "traitor" or something dumb like "bumblebee". My second thought is: why is he messaging me? Both of those can be answered at the same time if I just click on his text, but if I do, he'll be able to see how fast I wanted to see his message. I can't let that happen. I should turn my read receipts off. I'd be able to do whatever if I did that, he wouldn't know I looked at the text and I could think of my response for however long I want without him knowing he's stumped me.

But that's what a crazy ex would do. They'd probably do some other things that I do not care to not entertain. I slump my shoulders and peer out my window, across from me. I gasp, almost as shocked as I was when I got his text, only more.

My stomach drops and my heartbeat pick up. Gakushu is standing out on his balcony. He's got both arms leaning forward on the railings. He keeps tossing his phone back and forth like it's replaceable, just like that. I shake my head, scolding him mentally. My head goes back to my phone, the want–need–to read his words now becoming stronger with every heartbeat.

I swipe my phone and throw my feet off my bed. I open the text and regret nothing. Wow, I've just realized I have absolutely no shame.

I need to talk to you

Oh, wow. Look at that. He wants to talk to me. Ha, who does he think he is? No way, there's no way I'm letting him get a word in, not before I tell him how it is and put him in his place. Honestly, guys have no respect. I should have known. I close my eyes and nod knowingly. Another ding makes me look back at the screen which went black.

I open our conversation again and read his message. My mouth drops open from both shock and a "how dare he says that to me" look. My hand flies to my hear and I stand up, slam open my balcony door, and go as far as my edge lets me. I stare forward, right past Gakushu, and glare.

"I was right wasn't I?"

I cross my arms and stay silent.

His grin makes me falter a little. My mouth goes slackjawed. "You are so mean!"

"I knew it."

"You! You–you–I–you!"

He smiles, "Yes? Use your words Y/n." My frantic movements stop and just stare at him.

He tilts his head, hair falling into his bright purple eyes. His smile isn't crinkling, it isn't maddening or annoying in the slightest. It's a little amusing, but 100%... nice.

"Y/n?"

I point, "you..."

"I?" He nods.

I look around for anything I can use as a weapon. I grab the hair tye at my wrist and aim in at his pretty damn face. "So you get to call me by y first name, but because you're an upperclassman I should call you by your stupid last name!?"

His face falls a little, I can't help but notice. It doesn't look right on him. His... frown. Frowning doesn't look good on him, not like... like that. He looks, I grimace, he looks guilty. Why?

"Ga–Asano?"

He looks up and his cold–almost dead–eyes meet mine. They look so odd. I don't even know what to call them. He looks tired! I realize. He's tired.

"Please. I-

He cuts himself off and looks away again. That is what I called you out here to discuss." I scoff, discuss? Like a bloody meeting? Like this is another one of those–

"Y/n understand I only said that because of my father." So? Oh. So? What does your damn father have anything to do with–" he doesn't approve of me dating. He thinks..." he sucks in a deep breath, I've never seen Asano like this, I've never seen student council president Asano Gakushu like this before. I've never seen Gakushu like this before.

He looks so worn, like a favorite shirt you constantly wear because you love it so much. At this moment I, why do I?... just want to hug him.

"Shu..." My voice is breathless and quiet. I feel helpless, completely helpless.

"Don't." His voice is hard and mine crumples along with it. He backs away, "I should go-

My tears are running down my cheeks and before I know what to do with myself, I'm yelling and freaking Gakushu Asano, "You jerk! You can trust me!" I breathe heavily and avert my eyes. I feel like I'm about to faint, but I look up, meet his gaze and say in that breathless tone I've only ever used around myself and him, "I don't know why, but I just know, you can trust me, okay?" I look up pleading with him.

Why? I don't know, god there are so many things I don't have the answer for, I just know Gkaushu, I just know him and I think, I think I'm actually fine with that.