I am Flash

No longer....

From here at this point   i am now writing not for people to read or enjoy i am writing to document my existence so that i don't forget what i gone through ,what my plans are, what i am sacrificing for it and many things so its not for you  guys to enjoy     don't expect any sort of  decorations or grammatical things and that all cause i am writing for myself   and those who don't care for that all and   just wanna know whats happening who is flash what is flash    and how the story of a normal middle class family teen  is gonna be interesting than...

Than i welcome you all on my journey  and thank you for joining me in my journey   "of life"

I don't need anyone to think i am right or wrong or whatever    just remember this is NOT A STORY   there will be time which you may find not suitable and i genuinely don't mind your reaction cause as i said its for me to speak myself out

So with that all   if you are still here i welcome you 😊

It all started since i was born but "it all" was realised  when i turned 12...
The very normal boy being borned in very normal family of India    i was from childhood very cold kinda boy having no attachment with anyone.  If you all watched naruto then i will say i was like gara of beginning  attitude wise but never harmed anyone even who hurted me    i won't reveal most thing in first story cause i have to keep my pain for future

A child was born who didn't cried after birth and learned everything late including basic things   i was declared dumb  at first   my parents and no one till now knows that i still remember some things from when i was child  indeed i was an old soul    it doesn't matter if you believe or not but it is what it is
But lets keep it secret for now and jump directly to when i was 10   i was litrelly used by people  for there entertainment there work and once they are done   i was thrown and yeah not gonna forget that there entertainment was my bullying.... But it never hurted me cause that was only way i atleast got attention    yes i was attention seeker cause never got that from parents...   People say lonely are those who have no one around   but actually thats alone not lonely.

There can also be person who is lonely even after having people around them   i was never taught how to open up about things so yeah things just got stuffed in me       now i understand loneliness is actually when you have everyone you care for around you but still no one who actually understands you    its similar like an extroverted man inside jail full of introverted people who care for him but will never understand his desire his need of going and roaming out    no one ever understood me litrelly no one and to feel alive only way was to feel "i am" and i use to feel i am when i got attention   which makes me feel little useful it doesn't matter how it hurted how it pierces my heart getting bullied or made fun of   if at last it made me feel alive     my parent's lack of understanding of me   makes them feel i am wrong   and even at home i got treated like someone useless    this all was continued when  i got one Freind   the freind who also didn't understood me but atleast knew that he dont understand me and tried to make me feel better    but soon maybe time never wanted me to feel good so he also left.....
I was even bullied for that    that now there is also not him to save you    the people who bullied me often disrespected me but  why or how would disrespect or dishonour affect someone who don't even know meaning of "respect"   as for me only way i use to feel alive was to get disrespected   and it was good  forget about i cried, forget about me cleaning my wound or fixing my sprain with cloth in my mouth  so that my voice dont get loud or get noticed so that it don't bother anyone   so.. so that my existence don't bother anyone... My parents never understood me and never even tried cause for them i was okey and i was coward  as i always got beaten up in childhood   and i was so fed up of being burden   that i stopped Sharing about it   now some of you might say why didn't you shared it with your parents that its hurting than... Than i guess no one would   ask someone for help who taunts and disrespects for being not able to do certain things     it was still not depressing for me cause   i was alive