Do I know you?

Chapter fourteen

Valerias sight 

Yesterday was not the most interesting day I have had here. I just stayed at the beach for almost the whole day and after that I walked through the city a bit but nothing more. So after I went up to my room last night I fell asleep but I wake up again three hours later. Nightmares again. I get up and sit down at the chair in front of the window so I can look at the ocean. To bring my mind on other things I take my book and read a bit. I don't know how much I read much I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up again I am still sitting in the chair with the worst neck pain ever. I try to get up but because of the position I have slept in and also because the chair isn't the comfiest I have pain everywhere. I decide to take a hot shower to relax my muscles again and then I leave for breakfast. Wednesday today. It kinda sucks I didn't have anything planned out before because most of the time I just end up at the beach but it is also very enjoyable. After eating breakfast I decide to take a shopping trip. When I arrive at the city centre I get a lot of looks. I know I look terrible but you don't have to make it that obvious. The nightmares have taken the energy out of my body and the night on the chair trade the rest. The nightmares even follow me through the day. They were about my family again, at least I think it was my family because I never see their faces only hear their voices and I also never talk to them. The boy which was with me that day keeps following me in every dream but I still don't know who he is. So the thing that makes me so tired about the nightmares is that it is always the same dream always the same ending and it really tires me that I don't get any further in this story.

After what felt like six hours I go back to the hotel and run straight into a boy standing in front of the hotel. A smell I know comes up to my nose and when I lift up my head I look straight in to the bright greyish blue eyes of nobody else than Mister Lando Norris. He looks as surprised as I am. I'm so shocked that I don't give him any chance to talk to me and run straight into the hotel and up to my room. I hope he doesn't follow me I don't have the strength to talk to him now. Why is he even here? And then I remember. It is the first triple header of the year, after Portugal comes Barcelona and then Monaco. Why didn't I think about that. I sit down at my chair and look out of the window. Right in front of it the sun is going down. It looks awesome. Sunsets somehow always had the strength to calm me no matter how much was going on in my life at the moment.

I keep sitting in the chair for hours just watching ocean and how the sky is changing. I forget the time and everything happening around me. I even forget to eat. Sleeping is something which I don't do tonight because when I wake up again from my numbness I can already see a light line of daylight in the distance. Awesome a complete night wasted due to me completely zoning out. I don't know if I have slept but it doesn't feel like I have so I must look terrible. When I get up and look into the mirror my thoughts are confirmed. I decide to stay inside the whole day and just read my book or craft some things for my shop. I took my strings for the bracelets with me so I could do something for my shop. I decided to do some in the colour of different F1 teams because I have been asked about them a lot, probably because I have picture from races in my shop. After I made about ten bracelets I take a first look at my watch and my eyes open in shock. It is already six o'clock in the evening. I quickly run down the stairs and enter the dinner hall. I take something to eat and go to my table in the corner of the room. Luckily not many people are there and I can mostly sit here in silence. When I m ready I quickly go upstairs and sit down on my bed.

I change clothes and try sleeping. It worked but not very long about three hours later I wake up again so I take my phone and sit down at my chair. It has somehow become my favourite place throughout the last days. I check my emails and look through the news. Nothing too interesting there so I give up and start reading again.

I haven't left my room in the last three days and I have made up a routine. No sleeping, too afraid of what might show up while I'm sleeping, staring into the night, reading, checking the news, braiding some bracelets and keychains, eating some fruit for dinner and then looking at the sunset before the circle starts again. Everyday the same and everyday I look much worse than the day before. The people in the dinner hall always look at me in shock but don't say anything. I just walk to the buffet get some fruits and leave again. I don't even sit down there anymore and I also haven't been to the beach these last days. I watched the free practice sessions and also the qualifying. Lando did good, he probably isn't okay with the position he qualified for but I think it still was a good performance. Carlos also did good, he qualified three places in front of Lando. Today is Sunday, race day and for the first time I go out again. I need to go on the beach again before I have to fly back home. It somehow was a wasted holiday due to me staying in my hotel room all the time. Somehow the city gives me anxiety attacks all the time but the first days I tried to ignore it. After I fell into the arms of Lando I couldn't ignore it anymore because on one side I was scared to run into him again but on the other side I also was scared of the city because somehow it has to do something with my past and why I ended up in a orphanage at the age of five.

When I walk out of the hotel breathing in the fresh air, the first thing I do is taking a deep breath. I walk across the street and walk onto the beach. I sit down at the wall and face the hotel. It is pretty early and the race starts in six hours but I see how mechanics come out and walk up to a car waiting for them. Half an hour later I see familiar faces coming out. Lando and Carlos walk up to a car as well but Lando stops before getting in. He lifts his head and looks around, as if he had felt I watched him. His eyes find mine and he looks at me very worried. Somebody pulls him in the car before he can come up to me and I feel how I held my breath the whole time because it releases when his car drives away. I take one last look at the beach and enter my hotel room again. How stupid I were to come here.