Voyeurism: The Truth Behind The Wall

2

" I've to give you two thumbs up, Commander," said Widka dumbly. "You make the murderer who initially don't have any idea when asked for clarification, in the end teary eyed also confessed his crime. Sometimes you asked questions to distract him, and at the right time, Commandant leads him back with real questions. Then the murderer no longer evade his lies."

Commander Jo shaking his head, "if you are so fascinated with that, then you have a lot to learn as a police officer," he added without scorn.

That night Widka was driving his patrol car in the open air past the main road in the middle of Jakarta. In the driver's seat, Commander Jo was seen staring at the road. The two of them are bringing back the murders that occurred in their area. Exactly ten days ago, the police station was busy with the discovery of a woman's body in the middle of the road. This was unusual, as the corpse sprawled in a miserable position. Her body was covered in gaping wounds, the corpse was beaten badly, here and there suffering bruises and cuts. Widka only could guess: whether the girl was dragged in the middle of the road when she was dead or not. But whatever it is, from the way he looks at the victim, there's a matter of savagery in the murderer. If there is an intention to kill, it is enough with one deadly blow. But this was something else: the girl died by torture and then her body was left in the middle of the road. It's as if they were just being exhibited for a lot of people to see. In less than forty-eight hours the police found the person who was none other than the victim's ex-girlfriend.

"But I can't imagine envy and jealousy could turn someone into a bastard. Can you imagine, is there any reason someone would massacred the dead so badly?"

"Yes, it's hard to accept why that bastard could act like that. But one thing I know for sure: envy and jealousy are basic components of human desire. That is the bastard's basic motive for revenge. Such traits are enough to turn a human into an asshole. Although basically the bastard didn't want to murder. It's like an emotional explosion. You know?"

Widka nodded as if he agreed. But didn't.

"Isn't that weird, Commander? Because I've been thinking all kinds of those things about the bastard."

"Like what?"

"I guess this kind only belongs to sadists. You know that Commander? Some kind of psychopath."

"Not really," shaking his head. "The bastard wasn't a pathological. He was just a poor guy. It was a momentary emotion that made him fail to control such traits." He paused for a moment, "Doesn't everyone have jealous traits? All of us. Even those of us who think we are normal, we have these traits even though to a certain degree."

Silence for a moment. A pause made Commander Jo speak again: "I've been heartbroken too, Widka. I let you know."

Widka glanced at him sharply, as if he couldn't believe his boss' joke. Even though he had not worked with her for long, he could tell that his boss was a true pervert. As Gulam put it: "Commander Jo has a habit of going to bordello. Either a few times a month. Once or twice. We don't know for sure. But that's how he entertains himself as a single man." Secretly the people in the city call him 'The Pussy Hunter'–definitely without Commander Jo knowledge. This scene made Widka laugh.

"It's hard to accept that the Commander heartbroken," Widka laughed again, " in the city all colleagues gossiping about Commander who is a masher."

The commander laughed. "Look, I've also fallen in love, Widka. Real love."

Widka thought again. At the age of Commander Jo who has four heads, of course, it is appropriate for him to marry and have a family – as usual, other son of the region usually do. In fact his boss is still single. Even though he is one of the lucky ones: he has a decent job and a decent look. Thus, there must be a lot of Jakartans girls that he can hold his heart. But judging from his lifestyle, this Commander is unlikely to ever be in a serious relationship—until doomsday.

"Well. How can you be heartbroken, Commander?" Widka asked curiously.

"That's because... I don't understand either, Widka. This love has not been accomplished."

Widka wanted to laugh, but didn't. "Why? Do you loves someone's wife?"

"Not really. More like unrequited."

Widka could no longer hold back his laughter.

"Shit. You think I'm joking? But it's okay I'll tell you because I think you're a good person," he said, blinking. "My girl is the most beautiful in the world. Not even any prostitutes can replace my woman in my heart, Widka. I have been chasing her since the early days in police academy, when she was a young girl. She did not understand the slightest about my efforts. Instead, he married with the damn old fart. Well.. He is rich person, so I think my lovely girl is a gold digger. I decided to wait for her until her widow if the old fart dies. Finally, the moment I've been waiting for is indeed happened. At that time she was married about ten years span. He died of heart failure. Don't think that I killed him Widka, I'm not that bad. After her widow, my girl didn't understand about my faithfulness, my sacrifice, and about my whole life for her. She did not accept me and chose to marry a soldier from military. Indeed, his father is a very rich general. I think my girl is truly a gold digger. You know Widka what I do? I was waiting for my girl in case the soldier was shot dead at any time. I'm waiting for her, Widka. I'm waiting for her. But the reality says otherwise, my whole prayer answered with the death of my love. That's when I gave up."

Widka felt himself sympathizing and regretting having laughed earlier. "This is why he is single," thought Widka.

"Did you still loves her, even if your girl is gone?"

"I'm thinking about how I can forget her," he whispered.

"Absolutely. The Commander is truly a loyal man. If your girl were still alive, she might be very sorry for rejecting you."

There was silence for a moment, before Widka spoke again: "But Commander. Wouldn't it be better for you to just let your love go and have a serious relationship with someone else?"

"Have you ever fallen in love with Widka?" The Commander asked, turning the conversation around.

"Fall in love?" Widka said he wasn't sure, now he even regretted asking.

"In love... of course... ever," he stammered.

"If what you feel is just passing through, it means it's not true love." Muttered the Commander, "anything that drives you crazy, that's true love."

The commander laughed again as if something was funny. However, Widka interpreted something else. He thought that behind his laughter was hidden a mysterious feeling of love. "You are suffering, Commander," thought Widka. He then thought about his love story, then grimaced, whoever he fell in love with, it was just like what Commander Jo said: "Feelings that just pass by." He never felt in love with someone, even when he fell in love with Anjani, Mario's girlfriend.

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