Awhile ago, I got a few messages from an anon. They were really nice so I kept asking them to come off of anonymous so I could know who it was. The anon responded and told me that they couldn’t come off of anon because it wouldn’t be the same. Well, I asked what was meant by that, and again the anon responded. They said ‘If I am on anonymous I can be whoever you want me to be, but if I come off then all the magic and mystery is gone.’ At the time I didn’t really understand this, but today I do.
In our lives, we will come across many strangers. Most of which, will just be a fleeting nameless face that you pass on the streets. However, most of the time it is perfect strangers that mean the most to us. Why? Well, in my opinion, it’s because strangers have no need to perform any random act of kindness, nor any expectation. So, when it does happen there is absolutely no doubt it is coming from the sincerest place with no ulterior motive. That being said here is my story:
Friday, May 4th, 2012
Wow. Three o’clock already! It has been a good week. No black outs or attacks during class or at all. No suicidal thoughts. No creepy images. No imaginary monsters hiding in corners of the rooms. No shadows trying to crawl inside my brain and block out my thoughts. No heavy poisonous smoke filling my lungs. So I guess it’s been a good week. And it is only to get better! At 8:00, my friends and I are attending a Much Music Video Dance. Now usually these dances are boring and dead but we are all determined to have a good time. And have a good time we will. I walk to my cubicle to retrieve my textbook. Much to my dismay, right in front of my cubbie is, yup you guessed it, ‘him’. Just to bring you up to speed he is a guy that I really like but as soon as he found out, he began ignoring my complete existence. Anyways, he is not alone. He is talking with a girl. For readers sake lets name this girl ‘Olga.’ I fiddle around with my textbooks, long enough to hear a part of their conversation. This very small potion that I hear gives enough away. Olga is going to a movie with him. She is going to a movie with him! I am more shocked than I am mad.
“Huh,” I say out loud as I walk away. It’s really strange. I would have thought I am the only one that could ever like him. Oh well, I guess not. It surprisingly doesn’t bother me that much. I already know he doesn’t like me, so who cares if he likes the prettiest and most popular girl in the class! Not me!
It doesn’t even matter though because tonight I am going to dance!
The dance is amazing and I am having a great time. A slow song comes on and I remember many a dream I have had about slow dancing with a perfect guy. That perfect guy was never ‘him’ though because the perfect slow dance usually involves the guy being taller. I look around at the happy couples dancing.
“Next slow song, I am asking a guy to dance.” I whisper to my friend dancing beside me.
“Really?!” She gets almost too excited.
Sure enough, as the songs go by, I become less and less confident. I constantly scan the room for guys, about my age, that could fit the criteria for my dreamlike dance. Then I scan out the ones that don’t have girls on their arms. Looking back on it, I seem pretty degrading.
“Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise”
Here I go…
“I just know we can’t be over, I can see it in your eyes”
Now or never.
I am followed by about 4 of my friends as I tap, probably the best looking guy there, on the shoulder. He turns around, my stomach drops. Gosh, he’s fine. Wait, why am I here? Focus Chantal! Force the words out.
“Do you want to dance?”
Wordlessly, he slips his nicely shaped arms around my waist and pulls me in very close. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy how this feels. No, this isn’t my first slow dance, but it certainly is my favourite.
“I’m not perfect, but I keep trying.”
The song, which now happens to be my favourite song of all time, ends much to soon. He pulls away as he says “Thanks for the dance.” And is gone before I get the chance to respond.
And that’s it. I’m afraid there is no sequel to this story, or maybe there is, and I just haven’t found it yet. If there happens to be one though, I will be sure to let you know.
One dance. It’s not much I guess. How it made me feel however, is infinite. I don’t even know his name. But I couldn’t care one bit. This way he can envelope my dreams and his identity can take flight. He can be anything to my wildest imagination. And I love it.
This dance made me completely forget Andrew. And I spent the complete next week glowing with a newly found spirit. I have gotten back the creative dreamer in me which I had been so scared I had lost. I have said it before but I say it with 100% honesty: I am over him. I want him to be happy. My entire perspective has turned around. I have gone from feeling like I have to accept this new me, this new life. But I don’t. Sure I’ll come back to school and ‘he’ will flirt with Olga but I won’t mind. Because I am no longer content with reality, but I’m extremely happy with it. But the best part is, I still have my naive child inside of me, that views the world as so big and amazing, yet achievable.
I am officially ready to be exposed to danger in hope for an even more enjoyable, foreseeable future.
