The Beginning Of Our Ending

2

Ginger

"I can't understand you, love". We've been talking for hours, it seems like we just don't want to understand anything, we can't accept anything.

"I want to break up with you."

That hurts.

"I'm truly sorry for this rollercoaster emotion, but I wanted to end things with you"

"Bakit? Hindi mo na'ko mahal kaya ba iiwan mo na'ko ngayon? 2 years palang tayo Aga, you told me you wanted marry me. Ano yon? Joke"

Hindi kami nag away, honestly hindi naman kami masiyadong nag-aaway. Sa loob ng dalawang taon, sinisikap naman namin umintindi, mag adjust, i-ayos agad. Especially Aga, siya mismo nag e-effort magkaayos lang kami kahit ako pa may kasalanan, siya yung tipong hindi makakatulog hanggat hindi niyo naaayos yung problema kaya kahit abutin pa kami ng umaga pag uusapan talaga namin yan para lang maayos kasi we don't want a break up. Tapos ngayon, out of the blue he wanted to end it? I really can't understand anything.

"No. I didn't fall out of love, 'cause I can still fill it. I know I love you kaya nga masakit"

"Then why? Bakit gusto mo nang tapusin nalang?"

"I don't want to hurt you but recently my urge to cheat was uncontrollable. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nanggagaling, was it anxiety?, Am I depressed? I don't know. These past few weeks I just try to sound okay, to act like nothing's wrong pero hindi ko na kaya, you don't deserve those acts. I'm not cheating on you, there's no third party involved but I feel like soon, there will be and you really don't deserve a partner who cheat, I can't do better for you and for myself. I'm a mess, love"

Hindi ako nagsasalita, pinapakinggan ko lang ang rason niya habang patuloy na bumabagsak ang aking mga luha.

"Naisip ko rin na why not stay nalang while sorting out my urges? Pero hindi mo talaga deserve yung ganon eh. Mas panatag ang loob ko if we ended this relationship immidiately kase it will cause us lesser damage. Let's take this time to sort both of our feelings", He said, but I find itb all bullshit.

"Sure ka na ba jan Aga? No third party? really?"

"Believe me or not, there is non Ginger"

"Eh bakit ganyan? Baka naman sinsabi mo lang na wala para mabawasan yung sakit. Pero kahit anong gawin mo Aga, may pain eh. You know what Aga, I'm starting to feel like na kaya na'sakin ka, kasi ako lang yung available. Hindi ako yung titipuhin mong makasama in the long run but Aga, 2 years is already long, kaya sana pag isipan mo pa 'to".

"I'm sorry Ginge. I've already made up my mind. Let's end this".

And just like that, he ended the call. I guess that this is now the ending for us.