𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫. (turning red; miriam x meilin fic)

𝐓𝐖𝐎

It's only been a day since I watched this movie, and these girls already mean the world to me. :)

MIRIAM'S POINT OF VIEW

Another hour passes and she's still all that's on my mind. I've got a pounding headache, which nothing is seeming to help, and all I've done in the past hour and a half is sit at my windowsill and stare out at the neighborhood. I have a feeling my friends are gonna come after me and see what's wrong pretty soon. I've gotten calls from everyone — Abby, Mei, Priya and even Tyler — and I just haven't had the mental energy to pick up the phone. I let out another dramatic groan as I rest my head against my knees and try to resist the burning tears in my eyes. I don't wanna cry over this. I don't wanna be a mess. Ugggghh what's wrong with me.

My favorite song is blasting in the background, This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory to be exact. It's always been such a comfort to me whenever I'm feeling the way I'm feeling now — lost, distraught, and anxious. Most of the time when I feel that, it's because of her. Not that she does anything to hurt me or anything like that, it's more like she doesn't leave my mind and it makes my head a mess. It's not her fault. Just like today wasn't her fault and yet I still yelled at her. My mom's right about me, why can't I just let people be gentle with me and take care of me? I always have to lash out as if I'm too good for help.

"Cause I'm lone-ly, I'm so lonely. If you hold me, I'll be your only..." I tunelessly sing along, rocking my head back and forth with my eyes squeezed shut. God this song is like therapy. Why aren't there more songs like this? Songs that speak directly to your sore heart and make you feel seen in many different ways, especially ways you hide?

It was just at this moment that I heard a few hard knocks at the door. And I just knew who it was already. My heart lurches in my chest immediately. I let out a groan at how melodramatic my own body is. Traitor body. Everytime she's around me, she talks to me, and everytime I think of her I get this very strong feeling in my chest.

"Mir! Meilin's here to see you!" Called the voice of my older sister lazily from the living room. My mom and dad have been working overtime lately to make sure we have enough money, and so my older sister (freshly out of college) has been acting as a babysitter for me and my younger brother. My older sister, Anna, is cool enough but I can tell she's exhausted with us.

Anna's always been a party girl and never the domestic type who wants to stay home and cherish her family, but I know she loves me.

"Coming!" I shout back into the void. I immediately swirl toward my mirror and give my looks a check. Suddenly my face is all flushed and red, my heart is just pounding like a jackhammer, and my stomach is oddly sore. I've never felt like this before. It's almost like how people describe having a crush. Why am I so uncomfortable around my best friend? I let out a longer, more annoyed groan.

I immediately swung the door open for my best friend and there she is, looking like a broken sunshine . She's still beautiful and glowing as she usually is — her beautiful red hair aflame under the sun. But she looks awfully sad and worried and my stomach lurches because I know it's about me.

"Meilin," I greet her with a big grin before I can help myself. I see her taking in my appearance — my fluffy ginger curls are out and wild and I'm dressed pretty casual. Sweats and a beat up T-shirt, hand-me-down from my sis. "Thanks for com—"

Before I can finish my sentence, Meilin snatches me in for a loving and suffocating bear hug. It's like I've forgotten all my anxiety and sadness from a while ago and I'm melting into her. I give her red hair a rub as she sighs against me and holds me. "Oh, Miriam. I've been so worried about you. Can you please sit down with me and tell me what's wrong?"