Continuation of Shrek X Elmos but with y/n

The literal only chapter bc this is just a joke;)

John Cena was really starting to get on my nerves.

  He keeps asking if he can tickle my pores. And I said no. Obviously. The only person I want touching my pores is shrek.
What I would give to feel shreks gentle caress across my skin. I would do anything for him, with him.
But I can't.
Because Shrek is with Elmo.
Im trying my best to keep my cool in this closet, especially since it's really moist in here. But I've gotten used to it.
I've been in here for a long time....
*flashback to 5 years earlier*
"Oh shrek! You have the shrexiest house in the whole swamp!"
Shrek looked pleased to see my liking if his beautiful home. Any person as dazzling as shrek deserves to live in a house to match his beauty.
"Come hither to my bedroom sweet cheeks so I can introduce you to someone," shrek said grinning.
I've never been more exited in my life.
I followed shrek into his bedroom and closed the door behind me.
No interruptions.
Just me and Shrek.
"So shrek" I said, "what first."
I walked over to him slowly and cupped his beautiful green face, feeling the grease on his cheeks rub off onto my hand.
Mmmm. Feels like lotion.
I then lick my fingers and sigh, taking pleasure in the taste.
"Oh Shrek" I say, "draw me like one of your French girls".
Shrek smiles and clenches my wenis, but before I could do anything to prevent it, John Cena suddenly reaches out of the closet and drags me in. Forever.
*back to present time*
It's been 5 years since that day with shrek, and it's obvious he's forgotten about me.
The noises coming from the other side of the closet sound deadly and all I want to do is knock the door down and save shrek from cardiac arrest. It's obvious Elmo is to much for him. 
I start banging against the door, desperate to get to shrek before it's too late.
John Cena puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Dude. He's not worth it. You gotta move on. If I had a flower for every time you though of Shrek I could walk in my garden forever. Bro, you gotta stop watering the garden, or else it'll bloom forever. And either way, He's too far gone now. You might hate the thought of him dying, but really, he died the day you were taken out of his life."
Wow. I didn't know John Cena was such a poet.
"Thank you John Cena," I said glumly and walked to go sit on the middle school girl John abducted three years ago.
Johns right but I can't just stop thinking about how Shrek will probably die any moment.
Before I know it there is a tear falling down my cheeks.
"It's okay buddy," John Cena says.
He comes and sits down on the middle school girl beside me. She moans and falls over. Johns pretty heavy.
"Daddy wait, take me with you," she mumbles.
"Not now Patty. Shut up."
I try to ignore John Cena and Patty and focus on moving on. But it's so hard.
John Cena notices that I've started crying again and hands me a brown handkerchief.
And then starts singing "I will always love you".
He's on verse 2 now and it's really moving, even all the rats have come out from under the crevices and are listening.
"We both know I'm not what you, what you need."
I'm now choking on my own tears. John Cena gets really hyped up and rips his shirt off.
"AND IIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUU!! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUU!!! Youuu...."
Patty moans again and John Cena punts her into the wall.
"Patty! I freaking told you to shut up!"
I'm in such a moment that I don't even realize Patty broke through the wall and there is a massive hole to get out!!
"John Cena look! We're finally free! Come on lest go!"
I get up and run over to the hole in the wall, so exited to have a chance to save Shrek!
Then I notice John Cena didn't follow me.
I look back. John is still in the same spot.
"John Cena? Aren't you coming?"
His eyes turn black and his voice sounds like satans.
"No." He then slithers back into the dark depths of the closet and I never see him again.
Oh well.
I run out of the closet to find Patty moaning uncontrollably.
"Patty what is it?!"
She points to the left.
"UUHHHAAAAOHH ITS DADDYYYYY!!"
I look over and see...
I see...
It's Shrek.
Laying completely naked on his bed...dead.
He's dead.
He couldn't handle the shrexy time.
I fall onto my knees and fist my hands.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO," I scream up towards the heavens.
Why. Why Shrek.
Why has this unforgiving cruel world killed Shrek?

*3 years later*
It's been a rough three years, but I took John Cenas advice and tried to move on.
After Shrek died everyone was on edge.
A few houses after I found his and elmos body the police came and searched the closet. They found hundreds of little boys that had went missing years ago and even a few dead bodies.
It took them months to get to the very end of the closet, but when they did, they found John Cena.
That's where the recording ends.
The police officers went missing and are still gone to this day.
Anyway, Shreks ashes were spread over playgrounds and children's hospitals all over the world.
He was a great man, Shrek.
I never want to forget him.
And I never will because before they took his body away I sang him a song, and had his baby.

THE END