Yes thats right I was raped and for those who don't take it serious then you can go read someone elses book thanks. Before I had been adopted I was raped every night for a year it took me so long to get over it. To be honest I still am not over it I have nightmares sometimes. Its really hard for me to be writing this down because only my close family knows about it not even my best friend. After I was raped every night for a year it was hard to look at myself. I felt so disgusting that I would take showers at least 4 times a day. I had felt like I didn't matter in the world and I would think about killing myself. I told myself if I did that I let him win I let him get power over me. And I was not about to do that rape is very common in the world and it happens to good people. At night I would tell myself that tomorrow is a better day but I would also pray at night to God asking him why. Why would you let him do this to me? What have I done why was I being punished? But I knew soomewhere in the world their are people just like me. I know that I am not alone in the world that one day someone will save me. That it will stop some day and I would be free. And I was but at the same time when I became free I didn't feel like Jonesia anymore. I felt like I was a dirty slut but I told myself that I am not one.
But I know that I am not alone and that I have the same problem as someone else. I told myself that I matter and I am needed in the world same as everyone else I have a place in the world. But most of all I am thankful that I made it out alive and in one piece. I am also thankful for my mom because she went threw the same thing I did and I am grateful that I can talk to her about it.
