first fears

first fears:1

The room lay still as he made his appearance. He looked impeccable. The sound of his footsteps drowned out the whole crowd that was gathered at the beautifully decorated hall for his 28th birthday party. He looked like an all powerful god and everyone else just faded into the background; blurred and insignificant. He swaggered about bathed in his personal glow of charmingness that shone like there was a natural spotlight on him, a supernatural light from within that only he seemed to possess.

ok! maybe just maybe i idolized him too much, but the rest of the world that surrounded us seemed to agree with me. everyone almost worshipped him and it showed.

His aura was infectious, his personality was micacious and magnetic. He oozed of wild charm with just the right amount of confidence and a hint of boyish shyness and modesty. His mere presence was enough to trigger sensual explosions inside me. His smile unearthed this wild desire inside that felt too dangerous to let out, too dangerous to let out, too raw, too forbidden, I couldnt help but feel this way and it was not just the lust. The unnamed relationship we had was more than just animal urges because i was attracted to the beauty, i was in awe of the intellect but most importantly i was in love with the soul that the beautiful man vesseled inside him. but what i feared the most was not the unmatchable charm or the formidable strength and power he represented. It was my own feelings that i feared.

I knew he looked at me differently, I could just tell by the way he smiled at me, it was terribly confusing and frightening as i was nothing more than an ugly moth obnoxiously hovering around the light that he was. A moth destined to get burnt by his incandescent light. But, it would be a beautiful destruction. i know you must be thinking how pathetic i must be but oh! only if you knew only if you'd caught him stealing a glance at you and giving that sexy and mysterious smile that he gave me, then, you would know how and why i felt the way i felt. It was pretty justified but the attention he was iving me was NOT. That scared me.

I can just close my eyes and picture him smiling that small beautiful smile that he gave me every now and then, it was special, it was beautiful, it was different and it was MINE. meant for me!

I was afraid of feeling this way. I know what it feels like to fall head over heels for someone and getting your heart shattered into a million pieces in return but i wouldve been okay with it. it was a small price to pay for taking a chance with someone so mesmerizingly beautiful inside and out. What i was the most afraid of was the peculiarity, the unsurity of it all and the forbidden nature of the situation.