Love

“… Well lemme tell you a story doc. I used to know a woman, prettiest lady in the world I reckon. She had a smile that’d shine brighter than the morning sun. But there was something dark plaguing her life, she was facing a battle that no one could win. She was facing her husband. He’d hit her mighty hard, it was an everyday thing. Would walk through the back door late at night drunker than a monkey’s uncle, and when he got drunk he got angry. She never screamed when he hit her, just groaned and whimpered and her only daughter always wondered why.

 Her daughter would ask her and she’d say “Cause I don’t want the neighbors to hear”

“B-b-but they could help you, why not let them?”

 “Its cause I love him Rosie, you wouldn’t understand”

Well over the years it got more serious, and I think she seized to understand herself. One day her beating turned into a whooping. He took out his belt and hit her harder than the holders did their slaves.

That was the first night she’d ever said anything daring to him “You feel big huh? No sir you ain’t, you have me physically but not mentally. You can’t have me. You can’t win!”

At that he chuckled, pulled his belt right back out and said “I will always win”

She used to sing to her daughter at night. Forgot to tell you, her voice was magic, a sweet little whisper that tickled the ears. She made her own lullaby for her girl; Rosie Rosie, My Rosetta stone. Without you I wouldnt know where to go.

 Long story short, she died a year later, bullet wound to the head. Left a note to her husband saying; “I told you you couldn’t win”. To this day I still wonder why I stopped being her Rosetta stone, why she wouldn’t just take me and leave, why she loved my father, and why she left me. I guess I will never know. But I can tell you one thing sir, I don’t believe in love. I used to but not anymore. It’s something twisted, something that makes you do things that you don’t want to do. And I for one don’t want anything impairing my decisions. To answer your question, Dr. Dryden, no I don’t love anyone. I think I’m incapable of it.”