adolescence.

prologue

Have you ever felt like your life was a soap opera? I already, feel it every day.
I always feel alone, in front of people it seems like I have several friends, several people who love me, but when I'm inside four walls, it's all just a mere illusion.

.Have you ever imagined how the world would be without you? I already think about it every day. I've thought countless times of how to get out of this cruel world, I've imagined several ways to take my own life.
Once I even tried to do that, I took a knife, put it on my chest, but I couldn't move forward. Because? .I don't know either, I'm really useless, not even my own body can command.

I grew up without a father and I was always supported by my grandmother and my uncle, I know you must be wondering what about your mother?
.my mother had me when she was 16, at that time she was in the tenth grade, because of her pregnancy she stopped studying.

My name is Leticia, I'm 17 years old and I'm in my last year of high school.
I live with my mother in a small apartment.
.let's say I'm a little weird, I don't like clubs, places that are too busy, alcohol, all these boring things that teenagers like.
Friends? let's say I have, but everyone I considered to be my friends, walked away, why? .to those who told why I'm toxic, others just walked away without even saying the reasons.I didn't even mention running after anyone, if they walked away it's because they don't like me and can't stand me, and I don't like fake people, like those who only stay by my side because they feel obligated, or because they have some interest.
.I always wanted distance from people like that, all fake, toxic, scrotum, people who only look for you when they want something.
Ah, yes I do have a friend, but she is virtual, let me explain how we met.

.I was added to a whatsapp group by some "friends", there in the group not all of us knew each other, so we introduced ourselves and there were some conversations.
.but later, one of the numbers in the group called me in private, then we introduced ourselves better, and she said that her name is Victoria and she is the same age as mine. I recorded her number and she mine and we were like this, one saw the other's status, anyway, we never talked again.
.but one day I posted something, and she replied in my private, we started a conversation, we started talking every day, and today she is one of the people I have left, the only one who hasn't abandoned me, one of the people who put up with me, it's ok I've never seen her, but the affection I feel for her is huge, she knows.that whenever she needs something I'll be there for her.I also have a couple of friends, our friendship started in elementary school, until today.
Gabriel and Mateus, they are like brothers to me, but there are things I need to tell only to women, lol. I don't want to leave them traumatized.
Of course, one is jealous of the other, but we are already used to it.

.and a best friend? Ahh, I have, I mean, I had, she abandoned me, why? I don't know either, she just avoided me, I called, I sent messages she just treated me badly, and as I don't like to bless friendship or affection, I respected her space and stayed in my corner. .I miss her so much, but I won't humiliate myself anymore, for that, if she wanted to, who am I to stop it?

I have a few more friends, but these I don't consider them intimate, but they know I'll always be there for them.

I never got along with girls, I think they're all snobbish, fake. .not all are so clear.
Let me explain why I never got along with girls, they are always competing with each other, like who wears the best, who has the most expensive shoes, who has the most handsome boyfriend, who has this that, this is annoying to me.
.some Guys are also toxic, others only approach you, with ulterior motives, others even make bets about having sex with a certain girl.

People can't be trusted, they expect a little slip from us, to throw us in the mud.

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