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"What's wrong with you? Why you around here mopping around?" My mother as I sat in the kitchen eating a bowel of cereal. Shrugging my shoulders I picked up the spoon bringing it to my mouth.
"Ya mouth broke? I asked a question. What's wrong with you? Why you haven't gone back home yet?" She asked as I chewed on the cereal finally looking up at her and the tears started coming down.
"I don't want to go back. There's nothing there for me." I cried pushing the bowel of cereal away from me.
"I know you not crying cause Gia moving." She asked as I shook my head.
"I mean yes, but that's not the main reason." I said between cries.
"Baby, broke up with me. And it's all my fault." I cried harder as I felt my mom come closer to me pulling me into a hug.
"Awee D, I know the feeling. But trust and believe what ever a Nigga do don't have anything to do with you. Don't ever blame yaself because a nigga don't want to be with you." She said as I felt her run her hands through my hair.
"Ma, I-I-I hebrokeupwithmebecauseIgotanabortion." I said fast then started crying again.
"You did what?" She said pulling away from me.
"Say that again?" She asked as I looked up at her trying to stop the tears but it wasn't stopping.
"I was pregnant. And I got an abortion." I repeated feeling my heart break just thinking about it. "Dior, when was this? Oh my gosh are you okay?" My mom asked handing me tissue as I shook my head no.
"When I did it, it felt like the right thing to do. But now I regret it Ma. This pain hurts so bad. I have no one. Baby hates me." I cried.
"Hate? That's a stretch he's probably just mad. Stop crying please, your gonna make me cry and we don't need that." She said causing me to laugh as she wiped my face.
"Dior you always had good judgement. So I'm sure your reasoning for having an abortion is valid. And even though you decided to do that doesn't mean your not entitled to still feel sad you mad the decision. Hell if you didn't feel this way I would think something was wrong. What your feeling is okay." She said as I nodded my head.
"It just feel like I made a mistake. I didn't even think Baby would care. We're still young! I don't even have a job or a clue of what I want to do. I dropped out of school. I'm literally doing nothing with my life. I killed a man. Like I'm not in no shape to bring a baby into this world." I said feeling the tears come down.
"Baby girl you don't have to explain yourself to me or anybody. You did what you did. You gotta keep your head high and stick a middle finger to whoever disagrees." She said as I nodded my head.
"And I don't want you stressing over no boy. Dominique mad now but he'll get over it. Hell you saved him. He not ready for no baby. But he just acting like any man would. Mad cause you mad a decision with your body and he had no say. It sick the way these niggas think. They always wanna tell women what to do with there bodies but I bet you they wouldn't even last a day in our shoes." She continued to say as I nodded my head biting on inside of my lip.
