(Set after Nate threatens Maddy with the gun)
TW: panic attack
"Maddy, what's wrong?" you asked as you entered her bedroom to see her curled up in a ball, sobbing and struggling to breathe. You sat by her on the bed. You were careful not to go too close so you didn't frighten her - she looked like she would freak out.
Maddy lay on her bed and cried to herself, her body rocking back and forth. "I can't breathe. I can't breathe." she wheezed placing a shaking hand on her chest.
You felt yourself beginning to worry. You weren't quite sure why Maddy was panicking, but it was extremely concerning.
"You can breathe, Mads, it's okay don't worry, take a deep breath," you tried to soothe, leaning in to touch Maddy's shoulder to try to calm her.
"Don't touch me. Please don't touch me." Maddy snapped, unable to think rationally.
Worry filled you as you moved away. You thought about going downstairs and getting her mum but that'd probably make Maddy even worse.
Maddy began to shake. "I–I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean—" She cut her own self off with a whimper, her fists clenching and unclenching— her body felt numb.
"Shhh, It's okay, baby, try to relax," you murmured quietly. Maddy's breathing simply quickened, you'd never heard someone so short of breath.
"Maddy, baby, I think you're having a panic attack. You've obviously got a lot in your head right now, sweetheart, I need you to let it all go."
Maddy didn't answer you, focusing on steadying her breathing—as much as her panic would allow.
"Y/N?" Maddy asked quietly, biting her lower lip so hard that it began to bleed, in order to feel something.
"Yeah?"
"T–this is kinda embarrassing," mumbled Maddy, and her eyes widened a little bit as she seemed to grow more anxious, "but could you hold my hand? I'm scared."
"Of course I can, don't be scared, it's gonna be alright, you're just feeling anxious. It's ok, you're ok." you whispered soothingly, taking her hand in yours. You stroked the back of her hand with your thumb to calm her as she tightened her grip, digging her nails into your palm.
Maddy looked like she might throw up. You reached out a hand to rub her back in circles slowly and gently in an attempt to ease Maddy's panic. Painful whimpers and struggled breaths escaped her mouth as you shushed her softly and she let you pull her into your arms. She rested her head on your shoulder and you could feel her quick and shaky breaths on your neck as she desperately gasped for air. Her shaky body quivered in your arms and you rubbed your hands up and down her arms to try to stop her trembling. "Focus on me, honey, you're okay. Deep breaths, Maddy. You're doing so well, just keep breathing for me." You stroked her hair and took deep, exaggerated breaths through your nose and out of your mouth to coax her into doing the same. You gently brushed your thumb over her lip to get rid of the blood and to stop her from biting it.
"You have to try to breathe for me, Maddy. That's it. In through your nose, out through your mouth. You're okay, I've got you."
She took some deep breaths through her mouth. You cradled her close to your chest, hoping that the familiar smell of your perfume would help her to feel safe. You could feel her heart pounding but you could also feel her shoulders eventually relaxing with every deep breath. You placed a hand gently on her chest. The rise and fall of her chest was still pretty fast and her heartbeat was rapid. You kissed her softly on the forehead and whispered comforting words. A few minutes passed by and she was slowly starting to come round.
"That's you baby, it's okay now. Try and relax all your muscles. I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?" She tugged on your hand when you stood up. "No! No, don't go. Please Y/N. I need you here. I'm really scared. Please."
It all came out in a rush and you feared she was gonna have another panic attack.
You sat back down and let her lay down and rest her head on your lap. She reached for one of your hands and held it tightly in hers as if you'd disappear if she didn't hold onto you.
"You okay?" you asked softly, running your fingers through her hair with your free hand.
"I don't know." she whispered.
You swallowed. "Maddy, darling, could you tell me what happened before you had the panic attack?"
Maddy looked down, tears welling in her eyes again. She opened her mouth to begin telling you about what Nate did to her, but closed it again and shook her head.
"I- I can't Y/N. I'm sorry. I feel like- I just feel like I'm going to be sick whenever I try to talk about it."
You nodded and squeezed her hand.
"We don't have to talk about it now. Whenever you're ready you can talk to me. You can always come and talk to me, Maddy, you know that right?
Maddy sobbed, her mascara stained tears falling onto your joggers. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N. I'm just so scared." she whimpered.
"It's over Mads, just relax, I'm not going anywhere." Maddy felt sleepy, but you could tell that she was too scared to fall asleep incase she had a nightmare. "You can go to sleep, Maddy, I've got you. If you have a bad dream I'll wake you." you said, tightening your grip around her body. Her eyes began to flutter shut. You softly brushed her tears away and stayed with her the whole time, holding her while she slept. Maddy's breathing was still unstable as she slept, her breath hitched every so often, making her body jump slightly. You rubbed her back to calm her. You didn't let yourself fall asleep, you needed to make sure she was peaceful, it was very likely that she'd have a nightmare and you didn't want to leave her on her own. You grabbed a blanket from beside the bed, and placed it over her to keep her warm. She snuggled closer into you and you kept your arms wrapped around her. She was so small and fragile looking, cuddled up into your stomach with tear stains down her face. You'd never seen Maddy like this. You held her tight and comforted her for hours. She must be really hurting.
