Love or war ?

Chapter 1

Weak, vulnerable, hopeless were all the emotions I felt. I only contained aspects of these emotions for really I was strong in my mind and in my skill. I was not gifted in the fighting aspect, I hated the thought of violence (uncommon in a time of war) but I was far beyond valuable even if I was too naive to see it. Conrad, saw my power inside before I ever could. He was a leader from birth but he found his strength through brute force and unmerciful violence. He led the "rebels" "the cast always" "criminals" and so the names go on. He took power through force and fear. I did fear him as he held a tight hold over me, which made me feel as though a part of my belonged to him. I craved that sense of belonging and love. Arguably he didn't have the capacity to love, yet u felt loved by him....
"Another one hart" bellowed the man at the door,  I guess you could say he was a solider holding point at the entrance to the abandoned building. We were nothing but children fighting a futile war, adults did not exist no more and we didn't ask questions anymore as that was years ago now at the point that memory serves no purpose. I was gifted in the understanding of medicine, as you see before I found or rather Conrad found me. I was in an abandon building that once served the purpose of what was called a hospital. Although it was barely that anymore, the journals and textbooks were vast, I learned and memorised different elements of the body and the medicines.  To the point of having the ability to create different ones for different illnesses and injuries as I knew the chemistry behind each component that made up the medicine, although it was not as sophisticated as it had once been when they world still stood, it allowed the healing of many soldiers.
The soldier carried inside with tattered brown clothes, mud smudge beneath his eyes, had trail of blood behind him, pouring out from his thigh. He shagging brown hair clung to his forehead, he was weathered from the intense storm that raged from outside. The lights were flickering, our generators were failing. They placed him on the metal table, I cut threw his jeans, to reveal I gaping hole from looks to be a bullet wound. Guns now wielded by children, this is the world we lived in. I grabbed my long medical tongs reaching in the hole in his leg, as the bullet at made no exit and was still live within his leg. This man was incredibly lucky as it had not hit any major arteries or bone. Grasping onto the small metal canister I pulled, carefully dislodging the bullet placing it into a metal bucket, with a clang as it beat against the others.
A siren echoed through the vast wasteland, the stomp of boots resounded like a deafening sound through the walls of the building. They must of surrendered, not our side, Conrad doesn't accept defeat. As though a clap of thunder boomed throughout the room, the silence overtook the crowd. Conrad walked through the crowd, his boots crunched into the concrete. I felt his eyes lock towards mine, but I defied and continued to clean the wound of the soldier in preparation to stitch him up.
I jumped when his voices boomed,
"We barely won that fight, you fuckwits need to get your head in check, the reason we have so many injured is due to inadequacy. I am
Increasing everyone's training, including those who did not participate!"
His eyes locked with mine as his said that last piece.