The Way I Feel About You: A Nick Jonas Fanfiction

Chapter 4: Keeping Secrets

*2.5 Hours Later* 

*Nick's P.O.V.* 

After everybody left,  I waited another half-hour before checking on Meghan, so I could clear my head. I knock on the door, but when I get no reply, I just go in. It is my room, after all. 

"Hey," she says, turning her head when she hears me come in. 

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I ask her. When she doesn't respond right away, I know something is wrong. I can see the tears forming in her eyes. I walk over to the bed, hopping up and grabbing her. She just sobs  into my chest as I hold her in my arms. I pull back to see the worried look on her face, before pulling her back to me. "Whatever it is, you can tell me," I assure her, rubbing circles on her back in an effort to make her feel better. 

"Promise me you won't get upset," she tells me. 

"I hope not, but I don't know what it is," I tell her honestly. She nods, but I can tell she's not convinced. She shows me the cuts and scars on her arms. "Meghan," I say in a shocked tone, pulling her face up to look at me. She looks like she's about to cry. I can see the tears welling in her eyes. "I didn't know you had these thoughts. I didn't know you did this," I continued. 

"I supposed you hate me now," she says, feeling ashamed of herself. 

"What, why? Of course not," I tell her with all sincerity. "Do you want to stay here? I'll crash on the couch. Whatever you need, just tell me." 

She shakes her head, "I don't want to be alone." 

"Oh, ok. I guess you could bunk with me." 

"Just hold me," she whispers.  I make myself comfortable on the bed and pull her close to me. Meg lays her head on my chest. We lay there for a moment in silence. "Thanks, Nick," she tells me. 

"What for?" I ask her. 

"This, being so nice to me," Meg replies. 

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask her. 

"It's just...most guys would make fun of me," she continues. 

"For?" I ask her again. 

"This...barfing, crying. The scars, wanting to harm myself. It's embarrassing," she says, moving away from me and covering her face. I pull her close to me again. 

"That's ridiculous. As for the barfing, sometimes that just happens and you can't always control your emotions," I say, rubbing her back. 

She cuts me off, "I know, I know, but most guys..."  

I stop her, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not most guys. I would never do that. Just promise me next time you're thinking about doing something to yourself you tell me. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, everybody's dealing with something. It's not good to keep secrets, and I can help you," I tell her, hoping to make her feel better. 

"Thanks again, Nick," she tells me. 

"How do you feel, now?" I ask her, hoping to make her feel better.

"As good as I can, given the circumstances," Meg replies, blushing in embarrassment, refusing to look at me. "I'm sorry," she whispers under her breath, likely hoping I don't hear her.

"What?" I ask her. 

"That you have to be so nice to me, take care of me. I'm an embarrassment," she continues. 

"What, are you crazy? Meg, I know how I feel. I don't know much, but I know that this has been the best summer of my life, knowing you. I love you, and nothing will ever change that," I tell her, hoping she'll trust me. I turn my head, kissing her gently on the forehead. She leans and kisses my lips softly. I kiss her back, stopping myself from deepening the kiss. I don't want to do anything either of us might regret. 

"Love you too," she replies, running her fingers through my hair.