Forgotten

i wonder if theres pain after death, or after you die, does it keep killing you again and again?

These were the thoughts going through my head as i sat behind my closed bedroom door. I just wanted it all to end, to release me from my sufferings and regret. Tears filled my eyes as i looked at my bloody razor and the deep gashes in my arm caused by it. I look around my room, looking at all my childhod memories, from me with both my real parents to me with my mom when my shitty ass of a father walked out on me and mom........ then to the pictures of me and my friends, laughing like we were mental. I thought about how my life could be so screwed up in such a quick strech of time. How the man who I thought was my father, the one who played with me and disciplined me and who I thought would be with me and mom forever, abandoned me and my mom when I was just three years old. The fucking coward. I grunted with pain as I dug the razor into the partially-healed slashes on my left arm. I liked the pain. It was kind of like drugs. It made me forget about the emotional pain and just focus on the physical pain instead. Get my mind off the horrible emotional scars i've encountered in my whole sixteen years of living in this God forsaken shit hole of a world.

I put the razor down and cleaned off all the blood in the bathroom, thank ful to have one in my room so my blabbing, big-mouthed little sister didn't see my arm and go yak off to my mom. I put a few bandaids on it cause i had gym today and threw on a long sleeved shirt flinching as the rough cotton grazed one of my unbandaged cuts. I heard a knock on my door and froze. I looked down at my hands. Shit! they still had blood on them! I rushed to the sink as I tried frantically to get the remainder of the blood off my fingers. 

"Maxie? Hurry up! Mommy wants you!" 

Dammit! It was my anoying brat sister Loreane! Man, if she saw me like this she'd snitch on mom for sure! I don't want my mom to start worrying about me too. She has enough on her mind already.

"Coming." i said as i rushed back in my room to get the rest of the stuff i needed for school and ran downstairs.

"hey, what time is it?" i asked. "7:15, you better hurry up!" Loreane shouted. Sometimes i wish her mouth had an OFF button. 

"Shut up twerp!"

"Mommyyyyy Maxie's being meeeaaaan!"

"Hey squirt, give you five bucks if you shut up and don't annoy mom." I said waving the crisp, $5 bill in the brat's face. I knew she couldn't resist money. She stuck her tongue out me.

"I'm not annoying mommy." But she took the dollar bill anyways. Mom walked out to the window. 

"Oh honey, the bus is coming!"

"Crap." I ran down thestairs, flung open the door, and ran down the driveway towards the bus. It opened it's doors and i jumped up the steps and sat in an empty seat leaning my head against the window waiting for the guys to start laughing at me.

"Hey Maxine!" Oh boy, here it comes. Woopdy freakin' doo! I turned to face another dick sucking jock picking a fight with me but they were gonna leave empty handed.

"Whaddya want?" I mumbled.

"oh, did someone stick the wazor in too deep?" He and his friends started laughing.

"No, but if you want me to I got my pocket knife right here..." Their eyes widened as I took out my pocket knife, rolled up my sleeve and sliced it through my once, twice, three times. Then i closed it, put it back in my backpack.

"You are so screwed up, why dont you just jump of a building and die? its not like anyones gonna notice you're gone anyways." one of the guys said while his friends lsughed.

i rolled my eyes and looked out the dirty bus window.  if only they knew thats what i wanted, to die, have all this pain and misery gone. but of course its not that easy.I still amaze myself about how i deal with jackasses, retarded grown-ups, and-

"MAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i screamed as someone knocked the breath out of me. "Oh im so sorry max, i didnt mean to- " started my friend, Skylar "Its ok dude, chill" i said before she could go into this big apolegy speech of how i was right and she was wrong and blah blah blah.

"Well i'll see you in class i guess!" she said as she started gathering her books off the floor. "No promises." i said flatly. "Come on maxi,you always miss class! I have no one to get in trouble with anymore and I never yell at the teacher. i think im turning nice.." she said as she did her signature face, The Face. "Dude, you rock that just like Jenna Marbles does" i whispered. "Hahahaha, no she does it better, but i almost mastered it!" she exclaimed. "ill be in Mrs Pattersons room and if you're not there, what im gonna do to you is gonna make lions seem tame" she yelled over her shoulder. "ok, enjoy yourself."  i  yell back.  theres no way on eath im going to Mrs. Patterson's class.

 I decided i needed a break, so I skipped class. its not like we're learning anything important in there.

I just needed space, something to excape reality.

"Mrs. Smith, where do you think you're going?" a voices said coldly.

This is my first book, im sorry if it sucks :P Hope you liked it!