It is a 'regular' day for Y/N Stark. Until she figures out who Peter Parker really is. They have a fight against Thanos, a man who is trying to wipe outt the universe, will they survive?
TW, suicidal thoughts, self harm, crying, somewhat of a panic attack, also the pic below might scare you so TW, drawings of dead bodies. I think thats all.
thank you for your beautiful drawing @persononpinterest<3 very fucking pulchritudinous
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Y/N's POV
I am laying on my bed, Peter left a few minutes ago. I am listening to one direction but then I get a text.
Peter: will you meet me at the library, the one with that cafe? I need to talk to you.
Shit. That doesn't sound good. I know I am being selfish by not helping him out but he won't show emotion to me. All we are doing is fucking, that's it. We aren't dating. We both know that.
Today he didn't finish for the first time ever. It actually made me so self conscious. I replied.
Y/N: yeah, i'll be there in ten minutes.
I got up and grabbed my tote and my keys. I walk down the stairs. "I'll be back later." I tell Pepper, she nods.
I start driving and second guess everything we've done... everything I've done.
I pull next to Peter's car. Then I walk inside. I take a deep breath and begin to walk towards my boyfriend. He has deep under eye bags, no light in his eyes, and his eyes are bloodshot red. I walk to him and kiss his lips causing him to clench his jaw "Hey lover boy." I sat in front of him.
"I-" Is all he says... No. This is the end of us. No. "I know you probably don't need this right now, but..." His next words will kill me. "I'm breaking up with you."
I knew it but I'm still in shock. "Wait... What?" My mouth drops. "Why?" I ask. I don't cry because I'm shocked.
"You are killing me on the inside. You are using me to pleasure yourself, you use me for my body... We aren't even dating, we are just fuck buddies. You are only happy when I am inside of you. You don't even like me. You don't care about my feelings, you are so selfish. I had to watch Mr. Stark die too. I had to deal with it alone. I didn't have a Happy or Pepper. I didn't have a Peter or a Morgan. Y/N, you only care about yourself and I am so done. Did you know that I suffer from really bad anxiety and depression? Did you know that my parents both died, then my father figure Ben, Mr. Stark and now I have Happy. I have lost everyone including myself Y/N. I have panic attacks every day after I am with you. Today I was in the shower Happy was on the other side of the curtain telling me to break up with you. I've lost myself. You are a bad person Y/N. You are so fucking rude to Pepper, your dad, me... Everyone. I'm done. I can't have you in my life anymore. I love Morgan with my heart, it is going to break me having to lose her but I can't be with you anymore." He won't look at me and part of me wonders if it's because my face could change his mind. "Thank you for teaching me about love, something you don't have. I'll see you around." Ouch.
I'm still not crying.
But I feel like I just got a million knives stabbed into my heart.
He wouldn't express his feelings for me. I am an awful person.
I just sat and stared right where he left me. I'm so confused. I don't want to text him. I can't bother him.
"Excuse me ma'am?" I look up at the worker in front of me, "We are closed." I nod my head and stand up. I grab my tote bag. I check my watch and it's 9:00. Woah, I was here for three hours.
I start driving home, I listen to Taylor swift. Once I pull into the garage I walk quickly to my room. Then I do it, I break.
I cover my mouth as I sob quietly. I am hurt. I understand his reasoning but he didn't give me a chance to explain.
I'm so fucking done.
I fall onto my bed and grab my lighter. I pull down my sweats and begin lighting it. I place it near my thighs and hiss at the pain. I throw my head against my headboard. Then the door opens. I quickly stop my movements and Pepper comes in. She knows about me doing this but she didn't know that I relapsed. It's not like Peter and I were dating for a while but I lost my friends. And that hurts.
"Oh my god." She rushes towards me. I give her my lighter and she takes it and puts it in her pocket. She sits next to me, I pull up my pants. She pulls me close to her. I break into sobs. She rocks me back and forth. "Shh."
"He broke up with me." My voice is shaky. "He told me that I'm a bad person. He didn't let me explain myself."
"I know." She kisses the top of my head. "I know." I am wailing. "You aren't a bad person."
"I lost all of my friends." I cry. "I want to be dead" Those words. That sentence is a sentence I haven't said in six years. "I fucking want to die!" I scream. I mean every word.
"No. No you do not want to die. So many people love you. Bucky, Me, your dad, Morgan, Rhodey, Nat, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Ned, May, Happy, and so many others. We all love you so much and it would kill us if you were dead. It already did." She says.
"Three of those people are dead... Peter says that I am an ass to you, and I'm so sorry."
"You aren't an ass to me Y/N, you have experienced a really hard life. I know you react sometimes. But that is okay. Don't listen to him." She whispers. I shake my head.
