It's the idea that we can't be like other couples that sometimes gets to me. They hold hands and kiss. The occasional hug or playful flirtation back and forth. They're not afraid to be a couple around the public. They don't have to hide.
We're not like other couples.
"I want more reasons to be with you," Garroth whispers to me, his words hushed in my ear. It sends a shiver down my spin, like always. He's taken this into account in the past and has made mental notes to repeatedly do it for the same reaction. "Outside of school."
Garroth doesn't hold my hand in public. The idea of sneakingly wrapping his pinkie around mine terrifies him. You never know who is watching. Laurance doesn't like it if Garroth throws a flirt my way. He claims I'm different, and Garroth isn't allowed to flirt with me. He thinks the flirt means nothing, but he doesn't like it nonetheless. I'm scolded if I playfully flirt back. "You can flirt with anyone," he'd say. "But each other." It feels like double standards.
"I'm sorry Garroth, I don't think I can be of much help regarding ideas. Winter break will only make it harder," I sigh. My books cling tighter to my chest at the thought. Sneaking around is fun. I have to admit that, but it can be hard to create scenarios of why one of us is "gone."
He simply hangs his head, pretending that he's checking to see if his shoe is untied. He crouches down to his knee, untying his shoe, only to tie it again. He's creating time before we go our separate ways.
"Well. . . Well, what if. . ." My mouth spews words out that have little meaning to our conversation. I'm speaking without a single thought in my head. My thumb flicks against my notebook papers from nerves. I'm failing to think, and Garroth can only tie his shoes so many times until people question his intelligence. "The semester will be over soon. . . We share the same class. We'll create fake study sessions."
Vylad doesn't know.
"Study sessions? Fake?"
Kandi doesn't either.
"You wanted to spend time together, didn't you? Wednesdays work?"
No one does but us.
Garroth nods his head. He looks up to see Kandi and Vylad walking our way, confused. It's not everyday you see the two of us together like this. He takes his leave after greeting his little siblings and comes face to face with Laurance in the matter of seconds. Their conversation is loud and obnoxious.
"Why were you and Garroth walking together?" Kandi asks, eyeing me carefully. Am I not allowed to walk with a male other than my brother?
I shrug. That's all I can do, and I can lie. "He was asking about some class he's taking next semester. He thought he heard Laurance say I took the class, but he misunderstood him. I'm going to take the class. Next semester. I couldn't help him by saying if it was an easy class."
My lie seems convincing enough that they drop the entire conversation. Vylad changes it to the three of us volunteering at the local library today instead.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
"I like this top. Do you think they have it in blue?"
Kandi and I decided to go to the mall and shop around. Though, Garroth had to take us. Kandi's phone was plugged into his car, and she dictated what music was being played. But instead of allowing us to have the cliché teenage car ride and scream the lyrics at the top of our lungs with the windows down, Garroth made us use indoor voices and keep the windows up. He didn't want to get cold, but Kandi claims he's just a baby.
As of right now, I have no idea where he is.
"Why blue? It looks fine in pink."
My thumb and forefinger rub against the tulle sleeves. She's right. It's pretty in this pink color, but I can't help but think what it'd look like in blue. It sounds silly, especially because the more I look at this shirt, the more I want it in pink.
I shrug and hold onto the hanger, deciding that I'll take the shirt as is.
"You can always try to find it in green," she teases. Kandi seems proud of herself and holds up two shirts in front of her. They're the same style, but they're different colors.
"And you can find that shirt in any color," I retort, referring to the many fling-like relationships she's had. I can't count on one hand how many that is.
She lowers the shirts from her face to show off an annoyed expression. There's a small sense of pride within me before I trot to another section of the store. She may be able to hurt me with words, but she can't with actions.
I can't help but look down at the shirt hanging on my arm. There's a bit of disappointment in myself for thinking about how it would suit a male's eye rather than my own. With a simple eye roll and reminder to "get over it," the shirt becomes a memory thrown in a bag with a receipt.
It doesn't take much time for Kandi to finish up and wait outside the store with me for Garroth. She sends him a text, and it takes him a few minutes to make an appearance. He snickers at our bags and teases Kandi. Though, he only looks at me before questioning what I bought.
"She bought a crop top. Wanted it in blue."
His eyebrow lifts at me, and there's a small satisfied smirk lingering on his lips. I look down at the bag in my hand quickly, embarrassed. "I got it in pink instead."
The smirk falls.
