Raspberry Kisses (Oliver x Ryan Oneshot)

Tell Me: You'll Love Me For Me

Sometimes Ryan wishes he was still that kid at the back of the class that no one really wanted to talk to. He could have grown up and gotten a normal job and no one would have ever seen his face and said 'hey, I know that guy he makes tiktoks'. They wouldn't ask for a picture or follow him around. He wouldn't be obligated to post every day or pose for a shirtless bathroom mirror pic because he knows it appeals to the audience.

He had a short while where he was just insignificant and unknown. It was nice while it lasted, while he was like everyone else. Now he's the same except a few million people know his face and he stands in the back of videos on his phone. They don't seem to mind much.

Then there are some times where he could never see himself anywhere else but right here in a big bed surrounded by the guys he's gotten to know so well. They laugh at each other and make stupid boy jokes about one another even though it's all light-hearted. He laughs along when they call him a dumb, sticky ipad kid because he knows. He knows that when he falls off camera and scrapes his knees that they come to his rescue and ask him if he's okay.

It's comforting, really, to know that no matter how much they pretend they hate each other, there's still that love. Love. Love. He isn't sure if any of them have been in love before. They don't talk much about their love lives other than the announcement of a girlfriend or the occasional stupid pussy jokes from Regie. Ryan makes comments about the shit they do being gay and they laugh or call him gay right back. It's all in good fun and none of them are homophobic which is a comfort to Ryan, the likely only one of them questioning their sexuality. He thinks about the time Justin said he'd fuck around and kiss a boy, but those are just memories.

"You good bro?" Sebastian asks, knocking lightly on the doorway.

"Oh, yeah. Just chilling on my phone."

Sebastian smiles at him, "food's here whenever you wanna come grab some," he says before ducking out.

Ryan can hear the screaming and cursing and laughing from all of them no matter what end of the house he's on. He thinks about all the times he's heard Sebastian blasting music from the bathroom while he's showering. The sun is shining orange, pink, golden in their eyes just in time for him to walk out and sit down at the table. No cameras right now, just them and the comfortable atmosphere.

They like to baby Ryan the most. He isn't the youngest and certainly tries to not act like a toddler they can easily treat as such. He likes it sometimes. Kane and Darren are bickering the way they usually do and Ryan finds himself smiling. "Don't see you do that much." That soft and caring voice. Ryan hopes he doesn't have stars in his eyes when he tilts his head onto Oliver's shoulder and looks up at him.

"Aye none of them saw though, so if you tell them I'm gonna put a big ass spider in your bed tonight."

Oliver chuckles at him, patting his head and tucking a lock of hair back that's obscuring Ryan's vision. They all kind of go to Oliver for everything. He doesn't necessarily have all the wisdom in the world, but he's balanced. He knows what he wants and how to get there, so they all kind of just follow him. That's part of the reason why none of them objected to him being the leader.

For the first time in a while, they eat in a comfortable silence. Ryan doesn't take his head off Oliver's shoulder for most of dinner. He lets Oliver feed him and laugh whenever Ryan makes animated eating noises. Justin eyes him suspiciously, likely thinking there's something wrong as Ryan almost never wants affection of any sort. 'After dinner', that's the face Justin is giving him and Ryan nods his head sleepily.

He barely makes it into his room and Justin is tailing behing him to shut the door.

"Is there something going on? Though, you probably knew I would ask you that so you might just tell me no. But I know you better than that, bro, we all do."