The Rockstar's Hold

Chapter 2

Somehow I've managed to wind up in the fetal position in my shower. Its like a someone just snatched my forced happiness from me and all I'm left with is the anguish that I'm being toyed with again. I was slowly shedding my love for him, why did he have to go and make a statement like that. Everything about him was infuriating in its permeance. Everything reminded me of him, hell I briefly toyed with breaking my lease and moving because as soon as I walked into my apartment all I saw on my couch were those memories of him and I just cuddling on the couch while we watched some cheesy drama on TV. The kitchen conjured up images of me sitting on the counter blindfolded while he fed me Belgium chocolates. God I'm going to miss those chocolates. Fuck even lying in this shower reminds me of our first time in the shower where we got so far into it we slipped and fell. 

God why does love hurt so bad, like someone just plunged an ice cream scoop into my chest and is now trying to carve my insides out.  Fuck I need to get a grip and get off of this floor. The water was starting to run cold and I needed to get out of here. Maybe the short reprieve to the store would help me separate my head from all of this shit.

Getting off of the floor was easier said then done, my limbs didn't want to work right and I managed to slip and knock my head against the faucet. God that hurts. Putting my hand against my head I found blood on my palm. Well fuck me sideways. Glancing down I noticed the red was now actually in the tub and swirling down the drain. And wasn't this just the story of my life right now, I already felt like my life was being drained from me. Now it literally is. 

Laughing at my situation I awkwardly climbed out of the tub no longer wanting to risk another fall. Who knows the second slip might actually knock me out next time. Shakily making my way to the mirror I attempted to inspect my new injury. Unfortunately head wounds bleed like a bitch and all I could see was hair and blood. It had already started to steam down my neck and onto my chest. I better try and clean this up before I started dripping all over the place. Bloods a bitch to get out carpeting. Actually its just a bitch to get out of anything. I've lost too many pretty panties to shark week in my lifetime. For the most tended to part of my anatomy that bitch sure has a way to show her gratitude. Sadly I had just bid good bye to aunt flow last week so I can't even chalk up todays hysterics to hormones. 

Finding a hand towel I pressed it to where I assumed the injury was. The blood flow seemed to stop so I must have guess right. My whole head was killing me now so its not like pain was going to help me narrow the spot  down right now. I'm going to need to wash my hair again after all of this. Body fluids do not make for good hair product I don't care what they Something About Mary tries to tell us. 

Getting dressed afterwards was definitely something I should have recorded. Just to get my bra on alone I had to rest my head against the wall to hold the towel in place while I clasped it in the back. I'm just going to ignore the fact that its one of the ones Martin had given me. My Shirt was a little trickier. I tried to find a black shirt but apparently all the ones I had had small neck holes. The thought of scraping that across my head to put it on right now was just a total no go.  I settled for a tube dress with a cardigan over it. 

Taking the towel I checked to see if my head had decided to stop bleeding yet. The small blood trail that quickly emerged let me know that wasn't the case. Putting the towel back in place I walked back towards my kitchen. I could at least make a list for stuff I needed. My newly induced headache let me know trying to think of needed groceries at the store wouldn't be taken to kindly. Snagging some excedrin off the counter I pop a couple before snatching my to do pad off the fridge. Taking a quick peek inside I start writing down various things I need. It was a tad bit difficult because my vision kept swimming in front of my eyes but it would focus again if I closed my eyes for a bit. God I was tired.