If i leave im alone

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My dad followed me into my room. He still held the officers gun in his hand. He aimed it at me and started laughing. He cocked the gun and I closed my eyes knowing what was gonna happen next. I heard the gunshot and my ears started ringing. Was I dead? I opened my eyes and blood was everywhere. I looked around. No sign of my dad. The gun was on my bed. I leaned forward and the sight I saw gave me conflicted emotions. My dad had shot himself. I didn't know whether to be sad or happy. I was just frozen. But what do I do? I don't have friends or family. Do I just leave? But I don't have anyone. I can't live here. I'm so fucked.

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