Haunt Me

Shibuya Station

Ayumi and I left my apartment about an hour ago, to visit Shibuya Station. It was packed full of people surrounding the massive memorial that was built this morning. It consisted of a large—and I mean very very large—portrait of Yui. It was her senior year photo from the yearbook of our old high school back in Misawa. Our best days were spent there. Surrounding the portrait, was a sea of flower bouquets. All kinds, from smaller ones to much larger flower arrangements. I remember when Yui was little, she used to pick flowers very often. She knew how to do all sorts of things with them, whether it was turning them into tea, flower crowns, or pressing them into a journal to keep, she knew what she was doing. The crowd of people around us stood with candles and their heads bowed in silence. I kept my head down as much as I could and avoided talking to people. I didn't wanna talk to anyone here since it felt selfish to interrupt Yui's vigil. I finally laid down a single red rose amongst the much lighter colored flowers. I made eye contact with her portrait and something about her eyes just...hypnotized me.

The more I stared the more light headed I felt. The noises from the station's busy atmosphere drowned out and that horrible ringing was back. The world felt like it was spinning and my vision became tunneled. All I could see was Yui. And suddenly, that image of her rotted disturbing face came back. And it all went black.
"Hanami look at this! This is the most gorgeous dress I've ever seen!" Ayumi said, laying a women's fashion magazine on my lap. "Hm?" I looked up, and I felt very out of it. "You think I could ever buy something like that one day?" She continued on about the dress. It was a red mermaid dress with lace details on the ends that flared up and were sewn into a ruffled pleat pattern. There was only one sleeve and it was a massive satin shoulder pad on the right shoulder. "Maybe, for a sort of Gala or something." I looked out the train window, watching the bright signs and buildings zoom by as the train went on. The reflections in the window blurred and looked like spilled watercolor paint. Until I saw Yui's damned face again. I quickly faced away from the window, my heart began to pound so hard my head hurt. "Turn around, Turn around. Why won't you look at me?" Whispers flooded my mind and I refused to move. I was frozen in my seat. That awful splitting ringing came back and my ears were burning. I pretended to idly flip through the magazine Ayumi showed me while the whispers and ringing grew louder and louder.

I took some deep breaths and soon the noises went away. I looked at Ayumi, who was peacefully sitting next to me, reading the morning newspaper. She didn't even notice me staring at her. I looked away and started gazing around the train instead. A tone played over the train's intercom. "Now arriving at: Shinjuku Station. Thank you for riding with us today." Said a robotic woman's voice. I sighed in relief. As the train slowed into the station, the voice came on again. However it was repetitive this time. "Please watch your step." It said until mostly everyone cleared the train cars. Ayumi rushed out into the crowd and I had to keep up, watching her every turn and step like a hawk or else I would lose her. Looking back at it now, it amazed me how she could speed walk so gracefully in heels without stumbling once. Her neat jet black hair bobbed in the sea of heads, making it somewhat easier to locate her. We eventually made it out of Shinjuku Station with Ayumi anxiously checking her pristine silver watch every few seconds. "Pay attention to your surroundings woman! With how bad traffic is right now, you're at higher risk for painting the pavement!" I shouted to her over the noise of the cars rushing past us. "Well we could've beat the traffic had you woken up on time!" She snapped back. I stood silent since, well, she was right. The light across the street finally turned to the walk signal and we both nearly ran across the street. Our heels clacked on the abused pavement of Tokyo's busy streets. I guess famous people and roads are the same: They never really catch a break, They're used billions of times by billions of people, and when they begin to become less useful and old, they're replaced by new streets and asphalt. But in a person's case, new people or more useful people.